Weekly Review — November 3, 2009, 12:00 am

Weekly Review

[Image: All In My Eye, December 1853]

An American cattleman.

Abdullah Abdullah, presidential challenger to Hamid Karzai, announced that he was quitting the runoff election. In a choked-up voice he cited concerns about increased violence in Afghanistan and outrage at the fraudulent election process. The election was cancelled and Karzai was declared president. More U.S. troops died in Afghanistan in October than in any month since that war began eight years ago. A suicide bombing by Taliban militants killed six U.N. staff, and Major General Mike Flynn, director of intelligence for General Stanley McChrystal’s headquarters in Kabul, warned that the number of insurgents in Afghanistan (many of whom were from other countries) was now between 19,000 and 27,000, a ten-fold increase since 2004. “I wouldn’t say it’s out of control right now,” Flynn explained, “but this is a California wildfire and we’re having to bring in firemen from New York.”New York TimesWashington PostAssociated PressAirforce TimesPresident Barack Obama caved to pressure from Congress and military contractors and passed a $680,000,000,000 defense bill. Obama also hosted a Halloween event at the White House, where he distributed M&Ms and dried fruit but did not wear a costume. First Lady Michelle Obama appeared as Cat Woman, dressed in a leopard-print top, fuzzy ears, and black eye shadow. U.S. Ambassador to the United Nations Susan Rice dressed up as Goofy. Washington PostBreitbart

The U.S. Department of Commerce announced that the economy grew at a rate of 3.5 percent in the last quarter. The stimulus package was credited with much of the growth, but, because many provisions of the package will soon expire, economists believe that national growth has peaked.Associated PressNewspaper circulation in the United States declined to its lowest level in 70 years;Washington Postthe Government Accountability Office warned that a swine-flu pandemic could cause the Internet to crash as sick workers and children overwhelm local networks by using the Web from home;Washington Postand the U.S. Chamber of Commerce filed a lawsuit against the Yes Men for their recent parody press conference, citing “trademark infringement, unfair competition, and false advertising.”Mother JonesTwitter closed the accounts of 33 ConnecticutRepublicans who had registered under the names of Democratic state representatives and posted tweets that state Republican chairman Chris Healy described as “satire.” “I’m not quite sure what the issue is,” said Healy of Twitter’s decision, “other than that the Democrats were successful in stopping free speech.”Hartford AdvocateCalifornia Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger issued a letter vetoing a bill sponsored by San Francisco assemblyman Tom Ammiano (who recently told the governor to “kiss my gay ass”) in which “Fuck You” appeared as an acrostic. San Francisco ChronicleInterstate 680 in California was closed after a pedestrian was repeatedly struck by passing cars, scattering pieces of the victim’s body on all the lanes.CBS5Scientists found that bad driving is genetic.CNN

Paul Ford of Bristol, England, was sentenced to prison after he admitted killing his partner, saying he struck her “hundreds and hundreds and hundreds” of time in the face with a lump hammer.Evening PostTwo burglars were arrested in Iowa after police spotted their getaway car and found the suspects inside with their face-masks scribbled on in black permanent marker; a would-be thief was laughed away by staff and patrons when he rushed into a Polish bank shouting, “This is a stick up!” and brandishing a spoon; and a burglar who during his trial rubbed his own excrement on his attorney’s hair and face, and flung his feces at jurors was sentenced to 31 years in prison and ordered to pay $129 to replace one juror’s briefcase.AnanovaAnanova10NewsTwo coyotes mauled to death a 19-year-old Canadian folk singer while she was hiking,The Starand a 112-year-old Somali man took a 17-year-old as his sixth bride.BBCAn 11-pound lobster named Larry, born around 1939, was on sale for $275 at a New York restaurant,Bloombergand the annual New Zealand “rabbit throw” contest, in which children compete to see how far they can toss dead rabbits, was banned.Metro.ukSwedish scientists learned that when male bedbugs, which are gender-blind, attempt gay bedbug sex, the victims release a pheromone that tells the aggressors to back off.WiredParents and teachers in the Guangdong province of China were upset by a new sculpture in a city park of an eight-inch girl with giant 16-foot breasts. “The little girls were scared and cried loudly,” said one kindergarten teacher, “asking me if they would grow those huge things.”AnanovaScientists at the Guangdong Entomological Institute discovered that the female short-nosed fruit-bat routinely provides her partner with oral sex during intercourse, making the bat the only adult animal besides humans to engage in such behavior. “We were also surprised at how often it occurred… It was difficult to provide some hypotheses for the function of the fellatio behavior,” said short-nosed-fruit-bat researcher Libiao Zhang. “We held many meetings to discuss the functions.”Live ScienceFake snow blanketed Beijing.Times of India

Share
Single Page

More from Claire Gutierrez:

Weekly Review May 31, 2011, 12:00 am

Weekly Review

Weekly Review May 30, 2011, 12:00 am

Weekly Review

Weekly Review March 22, 2011, 12:00 am

Weekly Review

Get access to 167 years of
Harper’s for only $45.99

United States Canada

CATEGORIES

THE CURRENT ISSUE

November 2017

Preaching to The Choir

= Subscribers only.
Sign in here.
Subscribe here.

Monumental Error

= Subscribers only.
Sign in here.
Subscribe here.

Star Search

= Subscribers only.
Sign in here.
Subscribe here.

Pushing the Limit

= Subscribers only.
Sign in here.
Subscribe here.

Bumpy Ride

Bad Dog

= Subscribers only.
Sign in here.
Subscribe here.

view Table Content

FEATURED ON HARPERS.ORG

Article
Pushing the Limit·

= Subscribers only.
Sign in here.
Subscribe here.

In the early Eighties, Andy King, the coach of the Seawolves, a swim club in Danville, California, instructed Debra Denithorne, aged twelve, to do doubles — to practice in the morning and the afternoon. King told Denithorne’s parents that he saw in her the potential to receive a college scholarship, and even to compete in the Olympics. Tall swimmers have an advantage in the water, and by the time Denithorne turned thirteen, she was five foot eight. She dropped soccer and a religious group to spend more time at the pool.

Illustration by Shonagh Rae
Article
Star Search·

= Subscribers only.
Sign in here.
Subscribe here.

On December 3, 2016, less than a month after Donald Trump was elected president, Amanda Litman sat alone on the porch of a bungalow in Costa Rica, thinking about the future of the Democratic Party. As Hillary Clinton’s director of email marketing, Litman raised $180 million and recruited 500,000 volunteers over the course of the campaign. She had arrived at the Javits Center on Election Night, arms full of cheap beer for the campaign staff, minutes before the pundits on TV announced that Clinton had lost Wisconsin. Later that night, on her cab ride home to Brooklyn, Litman asked the driver to pull over so she could throw up.

Illustration by Taylor Callery
Article
Monumental Error·

= Subscribers only.
Sign in here.
Subscribe here.

In 1899, the art critic Layton Crippen complained in the New York Times that private donors and committees had been permitted to run amok, erecting all across the city a large number of “painfully ugly monuments.” The very worst statues had been dumped in Central Park. “The sculptures go as far toward spoiling the Park as it is possible to spoil it,” he wrote. Even worse, he lamented, no organization had “power of removal” to correct the damage that was being done.

Illustration by Steve Brodner
Article
Bumpy Ride·

= Subscribers only.
Sign in here.
Subscribe here.

One sunny winter afternoon in western Michigan, I took a ride with Leon Slater, a slight sixty-four-year-old man with a neatly trimmed white beard and intense eyes behind his spectacles. He wore a faded blue baseball cap, so formed to his head that it seemed he slept with it on. Brickyard Road, the street in front of Slater’s home, was a mess of soupy dirt and water-filled craters. The muffler of his mud-splattered maroon pickup was loose, and exhaust fumes choked the cab. He gripped the wheel with hands leathery not from age but from decades moving earth with big machines for a living. What followed was a tooth-jarring tour of Muskegon County’s rural roads, which looked as though they’d been carpet-bombed.

Photograph by David Emitt Adams
Article
Bad Dog·

= Subscribers only.
Sign in here.
Subscribe here.

Abby was a breech birth but in the thirty-one years since then most everything has been pretty smooth. Sweet kid, not a lot of trouble. None of them were. Jack and Stevie set a good example, and she followed. Top grades, all the way through. Got on well with others but took her share of meanness here and there, so she stayed thoughtful and kind. There were a few curfew or partying things and some boys before she was ready, and there was one time on a school trip to Chicago that she and some other kids got caught smoking crack cocaine, but that was so weird it almost proved the rule. No big hiccups, master’s in ecology, good state job that lets her do half time but keep benefits while Rose is little.

Illustration by Katherine Streeter

Number of cast members of the movie Predator who have run for governor:

3

A Georgia Tech engineer created software that endows unmanned aerial drones with a sense of guilt.

Roy Moore, a 70-year-old lawyer and Republican candidate for the US Senate who once accidentally stabbed himself with a murder weapon while prosecuting a case in an Alabama courtroom, was accused of having sexually assaulted two women, Leigh Corfman and Beverly Young Nelson, while he was an assistant district attorney in his thirties and they were 14 and 16 years old, respectively.

Subscribe to the Weekly Review newsletter. Don’t worry, we won’t sell your email address!

HARPER’S FINEST

Report — From the June 2013 issue

How to Make Your Own AR-15

= Subscribers only.
Sign in here.
Subscribe here.

By

"Gun owners have long been the hypochondriacs of American politics. Over the past twenty years, the gun-rights movement has won just about every battle it has fought; states have passed at least a hundred laws loosening gun restrictions since President Obama took office. Yet the National Rifle Association has continued to insist that government confiscation of privately owned firearms is nigh. The NRA’s alarmism helped maintain an active membership, but the strategy was risky: sooner or later, gun guys might have realized that they’d been had. Then came the shootings at a movie theater in Aurora, Colorado, and at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Connecticut, followed swiftly by the nightmare the NRA had been promising for decades: a dedicated push at every level of government for new gun laws. The gun-rights movement was now that most insufferable of species: a hypochondriac taken suddenly, seriously ill."

Subscribe Today