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Readings

Excerpts from the best and most bizarre new books, testimonies, government documents, journals, news reports, speeches, and letters.

Sutra Scroll Tie Noodles

By Ryozui Ryosen, a fourteenth-century Japanese Zen monk. The poem is the first recorded mention of ramen in Japan and was deciphered last year by Hajime Yoshizawa, an associate professor…

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Fathers, Sons, Screaming Eagles

From Let Me Tell You What I Mean, a collection of essays that will be published next month by Knopf. The essay originally appeared in The Saturday Evening Post in…

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Lowellcats

From postscripts of letters written by Robert Lowell to his daughter Harriet, collected in The Dolphin Letters, 1970–1979, which was published last year by Farrar, Straus and Giroux. cat for…

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A Case of Mistaken Identity

From a September town-council meeting in Swastika, New York, during which members discussed a request to change the town’s name. The name dates to at least 1913, when it appeared…

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Grounded in Truth

From “The Secret to Chukjibeop,” an article published in the May 20 edition of Rodong Sinmun, a state-run newspaper in North Korea. Chukjibeop refers to the power to bend time…

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Essential Miracle Workers

From a letter sent in August by the chairman of the Fraternal Order of Real Bearded Santas to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Greetings from our nation’s front…

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Gilded by Reason of Insanity

From the Everyday Objects collection by Tiffany & Co., which the company says was developed to turn “ordinary” and “utilitarian” objects into luxury “works of art.” paper cups Inspired by…

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Friend Zone of Conflict

From a 2017 conversation between Yoram Ne’eman, then chief superintendent of the Israeli police, and Benjamin Netanyahu, the prime minister of Israel. The police were investigating whether Netanyahu had been…

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The Umpire Strikes Back

From remarks made by U.S. judges in 2019, which appeared in the Winter 2020 issue of the Judicial Conduct Reporter, published by the National Center for State Courts. These remarks…

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More Problems, More Money

From marketing copy for Civvil, a technology company that connects gig workers with property owners and local governments seeking assistance with the eviction of tenants who have fallen behind on…

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Some Like It Scott

From TikTok videos of customers ordering the Travis Scott Meal. The meal, which includes a Quarter Pounder, french fries, and a Sprite, is a collaboration between McDonald’s and Travis Scott,…

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Sleep No More

From a decision issued earlier this year by the Health Professions Appeal and Review Board of Ontario. The board was responding to a complaint filed by a patient about the…

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Scotched Efforts

From entries on Wikipedia written by the user AmaryllisGardener. AmaryllisGardener, a nineteen-year-old from North Carolina, has written more than twenty-three thousand articles for Scots Wikipedia but cannot speak Scots, a…

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Christmas in Cochinchina

From the anthology A Very German Christmas: The Greatest Austrian, Swiss and German Holiday Stories of All Time, which was published in September by New Vessel Press. Translated from the…

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Parental Guidance Suggested

From a speech delivered in September to the Boca Raton School Board, in Florida, by an elementary school teacher concerned about the behavior of parents during their children’s remote-learning classes.…

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Penelope Waits for Odysseus

From a manuscript in progress. I never doubted you’d return. You’re a man of your word And this is your kingdom. But recently I’ve feared you’d find me Looking like…

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The New New Testament

From an account of John 8:3–11 in a law-and-ethics textbook published by the Chinese Communist Party. In the Gospel, a group of Pharisees have gathered to stone a woman accused…

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Ad Nauseam

From Subprime Attention Crisis, published last month by FSGO x Logic. Though we’ve mostly forgotten this now, the idea that the internet would give rise to some of the largest…

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Deep Space 19

From “Origin of new emergent Coronavirus and Candida fungal diseases—Terrestrial or cosmic?,” which was published in July by Advances in Genetics. Claims that certain pathogens have extraterrestrial origins have been…

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Bleat House

From A Libertarian Walks into a Bear, which was published in September by PublicAffairs. When Chris Weathersbee, then in his sixties, moved onto the property in Corinth, Vermont, in 1999,…

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Blue Lives Batter

From descriptions of police violence filmed in the United States between May 29 and June 7. Compiled by ProPublica. A protester holds up her phone. The officer pepper-sprays her twice,…

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Whine On You Crazy Diamond

From remarks made in July by Russ Diamond, a member of the Pennsylvania House of Representatives. I feel that I must personally respond to the incidents of hate and intolerance…

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Garden-Variety Racism

From the dissenting opinion of the chief justice of the Louisiana Supreme Court, issued in July in response to the court’s decision to decline to review the case of Fair…

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Grave Concerns

From complaints received by the American Battle Monuments Commission between 2014 and 2019 that were acquired by GovernmentAttic.org through a Freedom of Information Act request. The commission manages twenty-six American…

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Fata Morgana

From Pigeons on the Grass, a novel, which was published last month by New Directions. Koeppen (1906–96) was a German novelist who was awarded the Büchner Prize in 1962. Translated…

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Mother Knows Best

From a lawsuit filed by Devin Nunes, a U.S. representative from California, against the Twitter user Devin Nunes’ Mom, whose identity is unknown. Nunes has denied the claims made by…

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Person

From Rough Song, a collection of poetry, which was published last month by The Song Cave. Varela (1926–2009) was a Peruvian poet and the first woman to win the Federico…

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Penal Estate

From a listing posted on August 12 by House of Brokers Realty, Inc., for a home in Fayette, Missouri. 203 east morrison street…

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January 2021

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