Weekly Review

The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that the Constitution does not guarantee a right to abortion; nine states immediately prohibited the medical procedure in all circumstances; a man drove his truck into a crowd of pro-abortion protesters in Cedar Rapids, Iowa; and, in the hour immediately following the court’s decision, Google searches for “how to move to Canada from U.S.” spiked by 850 percent.^{1 2 3 4} Mike Pence responded to the ruling by advocating for a total nationwide ban, a move that would increase the maternal mortality rate by at least 20 percent.^{5 6} “He just needs an issue set that he can really dig into that’s not about January 6 or Trump or anything,” said a Republican strategist of Pence’s chances for the presidency.⁷ The Supreme Court also ruled that states are required to fund private religious schools, that limits on guns in public were unconstitutional, that police cannot be sued for failing to administer Miranda warnings, and that a death row inmate could choose to be executed by firing squad rather than by lethal injection.^{8 9 10} Three people who had recently been detained at New York’s Rikers Island jail complex died, bringing this year’s total to nine.¹¹ “I am truly pleased by what I am seeing and what I saw today,” said mayor Eric Adams after touring the complex; earlier, he waved a checkered flag as the NYPD destroyed a pile of dirt bikes with a bulldozer and scolded women for their behavior on the subway.¹² “We are having to beg y’all to do something to get this man out of our faces,” said the grandmother of a victim of the Uvalde school shooting, regarding the police chief who waited over an hour to confront the gunman, despite having sufficient weapons, protective gear, and access to an unlocked door of the school.^{13 14} “This country simply can’t afford another scandal,” said the Texas representative Pat Fallon in a congressional hearing, referring to Deflategate, the 2015 controversy about the air pressure of NFL game balls.¹⁵

A woman who moved to Japan in April was elected mayor of a Tokyo district, and, after a night of drinking, a government contractor lost a USB stick containing personal information from all 465,177 residents of the city of Amagasaki.^{16 17} A former member of the Lancashire Constabulary was found to have committed gross misconduct by drawing a second red line on a negative COVID-19 test in an attempt to play hooky, and it was reported that Brittney Griner, the basketball star who has been detained by Russia for over four months, was prevented from making her first phone call to her wife because embassy staffers had the day off.^{18 19} Microsoft estimated that, since the start of the war, the spread of Russian disinformation has increased by 216 percent in Ukraine and 82 percent in the United States, and the Ukrainian Ministry of Defense announced that a goat had set off a trip wire, injuring several Russian soldiers.^{20 21} It was reported that English families hosting Ukrainian refugees urged them to find alternative housing because the families didn’t realize that the war would last so long, and British prime minister Boris Johnson said that Ukrainians who come to the United Kingdom without authorization could be sent to Rwanda.^{22 23} A member of the Malaysian parliament defended his comments that floods should be used to promote volunteer tourism.²⁴ It was reported that a University of Tennessee–run non-profit had patented an existing open-source 3D printer, and the Ohio State University trademarked the word “The.”^{25 26}

American microbiologists announced the discovery of a bacterium large enough to be seen with the naked eye, and British ecologists revealed that eight-legged mites that have sex on the faces and nipples of 90 percent of all people while they sleep may soon “become one with humans.”^{27 28} Chinese researchers claimed to have built a “mind-reading” device that uses brain waves to detect when a person is viewing sexual content, and the CEO and COO of Pornhub’s parent company resigned.^{29 30} Amazon announced that an update to its Alexa software will allow it to reproduce the voices of a user’s dead relatives.³¹ Belgium’s prime minister returned Patrice Lumumba’s gold tooth—the democratically elected leader’s only physical remains after he was poisoned, shot, buried, exhumed, hacked apart, and dissolved in acid by U.S. and Belgian officials—to his family.^{32 33} After posting a social media message criticizing the newly recognized holiday of Juneteenth, an Oregon butcher shop called We’re the Würst lost several partnerships.³⁴ It was reported that Bored & Hungry, a cryptocurrency-themed fast-food restaurant, has stopped accepting cryptocurrency as payment, and in Thailand, chickens that were given cannabis instead of antibiotics were selling for twice the regular price.^{35 36} Ghislaine Maxwell was put on suicide watch.³⁷ —Jon Edelman