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A pregnant woman in Texas was fined for driving alone in an HOV lane after police refused to count her fetus as a person.

In Britain, following the resignations of dozens of government officials, Prime Minister Boris Johnson, whose earliest ambition was to be “world king,” announced that he would step down.1 Johnson, who lied about attending parties during COVID-19 lockdowns, lied about using donated money to refurbish his apartment, and allegedly lied about the 2019 suspension of parliament to the Queen, had lied about his knowledge of past sexual misconduct by Chris Pincher, an ally accused of drunkenly groping two men.2 3 “Them’s the breaks,” said Johnson. In Sri Lanka, where, according to the United Nations, a quarter of the population is at risk of food shortages and at least 15 people died in fuel lines this week, President Gotabaya Rajapaksa agreed to resign after crowds of protesters stormed his compound, playing in the swimming pool, frying snacks in the kitchen, and setting his private residence on fire.4 Rajapaksa, part of a political family involved in building a multimillion-dollar cricket stadium that hosts an average of two matches per year, a quarter-billion-dollar airport that was abandoned by airlines in part because it lies in the flight path of migratory birds, and a disused $1.3 billion port that is now run by China, has not been seen in days.5 6 7 8 9 10 11 In Japan, former Prime Minister Shinzo Abe, who argued that the Nanjing Massacre was largely fabricated, denied that Japan was responsible for forcing women into sexual slavery during World War II, and nominated Donald Trump for the Nobel Peace Prize, was killed with an improvised gun made from metal tubes bound by electrical tape by a man who disliked the politician’s connection with the Moonies.12 13 14 15

A 14-year-old in Albuquerque, who was visiting a friend’s house to pick up a bicycle, burned to death during a SWAT raid; the police’s suspect was not at the residence, which was destroyed.16 “I’ll be happy when I’m not here,” said Philadelphia’s mayor.17 Families of children killed in the Uvalde school shooting faced delays in receiving money from the state victims’ fund, and the Dallas Cowboys, who played a role in a $400,000 donation to Uvalde victims, announced a partnership with Black Rifle Coffee, whose blends include “AK-47 Espresso,” “Silencer Smooth,” and “Murdered Out.”18 19 The father of the Highland Park shooter expressed no regret for sponsoring his son’s Firearm Owners ID card, despite his son’s previous threat to “kill everyone.”20 “I was told that there was an extensive background check, numerous phone calls made, and there were no negative marks on his record,” said the mayor of Tioga Borough, Pennsylvania, after it was revealed that the police officer who shot Tamir Rice had joined the local force; the officer resigned after two days.21 It was reported that a 911 dispatcher in Greene County, Pennsylvania, was charged with involuntary manslaughter after refusing to send an ambulance to the aid of a dying woman because the woman, who was incapacitated, could not promise to accept the ride.22 Two Arizona police officers were revealed to have taken off their pants and allowed themselves to be fondled 13 times while investigating massage parlors, and the state banned the recording of police activity from closer than eight feet away.23 24 Arizona passed a law allowing teachers without college degrees to work in public schools.25 Scientists announced that natural selection favors people with poorer education and lower earnings.26

Two families sued TikTok after their preteen daughters died while attempting the “blackout challenge,” in which participants attempt to choke themselves into unconsciousness, and gentleminions, groups of teenagers inspired by social media to attend the children’s film Minions: The Rise of Gru while wearing suits, were banned from U.K. cinemas due to bad behavior.27 28 It was reported that, due to inflation, U.K. supermarkets were placing security tags on cheese and butter, and that penguins at a Japanese aquarium were refusing to eat a cheaper variety of mackerel.29 30 “Tasty and That’s It,” the fast-food chain that replaced McDonald’s in Russia after the invasion of Ukraine, announced that it will stop serving fries at several locations amid shortages, and the Russian Navy took possession of a 600-foot submarine capable of causing radioactive tsunamis.31 32 Nuke Bizzle, a rapper who had released a song about committing pandemic aid fraud, pleaded guilty to stealing more than $1.2 million from the state of California.33 A poll revealed that two-thirds of Americans believe that their lives are the same or somewhat the same as before the pandemic, and scientists reported that a person in Connecticut tested positive for COVID-19 for at least 471 straight days and had evolved three distinct lineages of the virus in their bloodstream.34 35 The last abortion clinic in Mississippi shut down, and a pregnant woman in Texas was fined for driving alone in an HOV lane after police refused to count her fetus as a person.36 37 “God is God all by Himself. He can do ANYTHING He wants to do,” tweeted former Republican gubernatorial candidate Kandiss Taylor after a bomb partially destroyed the historical site known as the American Stonehenge.38Jon Edelman

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