In the same week that it ended the 50-year constitutional right to abortion, the Supreme Court issued its first restriction on federal agency regulations in over 75 years, ruling that bodies like the EPA cannot adopt rules that are, per Chief Justice John Roberts’s decision, “transformational” to the economy without a congressional mandate.1 2 3 4 In his dissenting opinion to the court’s refusal to hear a religious-liberty challenge to New York’s vaccine mandate, Justice Clarence Thomas wrote that COVID-19 vaccines were “developed using cell lines derived from aborted children.”5 “It’s like the Dobbs decision has removed the condom,” said a spokesman for the American Society for Reproductive Medicine of proposed laws that would grant embryos and fetuses the legal status of living persons.6 In Michigan, where a temporary injunction filed by Governor Gretchen Whitmer has upheld abortion rights, the state’s Supreme Court threw out all charges against former Governor Rick Snyder and eight other officials who were indicted in the Flint water probe.7 8 In Kentucky, a state of emergency was declared in Marion, where drinking water has been almost completely depleted, and a federal judge announced her retirement, clearing the way for the president’s anti-abortion nominee to take the seat.9 10 The Biden Administration announced that it would award posthumous presidential medals of freedom to Steve Jobs and John McCain, and the U.S. Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi received communion at a papal mass.11 12 The FBI released its first app, which can directly connect parents and guardians to authorities if their children go missing.13
“Instead of spending $20 more than last year on your Independence Day hot dogs, lay off the calories and grab a few more rounds for your AK-47. You’ll thank yourself later,” tweeted New Hampshire’s House majority leader one day before a man fired on a Fourth of July parade in Highland Park, Illinois, with a legally purchased high-powered rifle and killed seven people.14 15 “We literally have nothing on him,” said the shooter’s hometown police chief, even though the killer’s parents notified law enforcement that he had threatened to go on a murderous rampage and had been the subject of a “Clear and Present Danger” report.16 17 An LAPD officer was beaten to death by his coworkers during training in what was supposed to be a simulation of a mob attack, and in New Jersey, a Cinnaminson Township patrolman pleaded guilty to searching for a woman he followed on OnlyFans and her relatives with a restricted database and falsifying records to cover his tracks.18 19 “But just his girth would prevent him from actually getting to the steering wheel,” an anonymous ex–Secret Service agent said of Senate testimony that asserted Donald Trump had forcibly attempted to take control of his limousine on January 6, 2021, so that he could join protesters marching on the U.S. Capitol.20 David Proudfoot, who had applied to be a security guard at Walt Disney World, stole an R2D2 and a game in order to draw his prospective bosses’ attention to the resort’s lax safety protocols.21
A drone dropped a bag of candy near a group of children in Minnesota.22 Nine educators presented a proposal to the Texas State Board of Education that second grade social studies classes should “compare journeys to America, including voluntary Irish immigration and involuntary relocation of African people during colonial times.”23 “I’m taking responsibility,” said a former funeral director who is accused of illegally selling body parts with her mother and is pleading guilty to mail fraud.24 It was reported that wealthy New Yorkers have gotten bladder surgery and Botox in order to avoid bathroom breaks while traveling to the Hamptons.25 A Los Angeles–based urologist noted a 300 to 400 percent increase in vasectomy consultations.26 —Susie Brustin
