Weekly Review
A few days shy of the one-year anniversary of the Taliban taking control of Afghanistan and the Biden Administration freezing billions of dollars in assets that belong to Afghanistan’s national bank, President Biden announced a plan to forgive $10,000 in student loan debt for Americans earning less than $125,000 per year and $20,000 for those who had received Pell grants.1 2 The executive action, which will distribute less than 15 percent of its benefits to those in the bottom quintile of income, was criticized as unfair by members of Congress, who in 2017 passed a tax cut that delivered over 65 percent of its benefits to the top income quintile.3 4 The White House ordered that federally funded academic research be available to the public for free as soon as it is released, and police confirmed that they were investigating a PhD student who masturbated to Japanese comics featuring young boys as a research method.5 6 Chinese educational authorities punished 27 people responsible for the “tragically ugly” illustrations in a math textbook, and it was reported that a Missouri school district had reinstated the paddling of students whose parents signed a permission slip.7 8 Hungarian officials were reported to be concerned that education had become “too feminine” because it favored “emotional and social maturity,” and it was revealed that a Delaware high school that was awaiting a delivery of textbooks instead received a box of guns.9 10 In Texas, officials at George Dawson Middle School ruled that portions of a memoir by George Dawson, a black man who learned to read at age 98, were inappropriate because of their depiction of lynching, and in Louisiana, a second grade class’s lesson on maps included a slide showing the route of a German man who attacked an elementary school with a flame-thrower and a spear in 1964.11 12 13 “We sometimes forget that stones gather energy,” said New York City Mayor Eric Adams.14 “Stones and metal gather energy. That energy is still here.”
India fired three air force officials who had accidentally launched a missile into Pakistan, and Hungary fired its top two meteorological officials after a forecast of a storm didn’t come true, needlessly postponing a fireworks show.15 16 A Nebraska man accused of sexually assaulting a minor while working as a tae kwon do instructor was arrested for acts of terrorism after staging a mock active shooter situation at the Catholic Charities of Omaha involving a real weapon and actors covered in fake blood.17 Two North Carolina women were arrested for making multiple false bomb threats against a Campbell Soup factory, and India contended with the spread of the tomato flu.18 19 It was reported that a South African hospital had accidentally spent over $30,000 on skinny jeans.20 21 “I should not be running any medical facility,” said a New York man, accused multiple times of fraud, who is operating Abort Offshore, a for-profit organization that takes women into federal waters to end their pregnancies.22 A Florida judge who ruled that a teen could not seek an abortion in part because of her low grade-point average lost a primary election.23 A Texas law banning 18- to 20-year-olds from carrying firearms in public was ruled unconstitutional, and a mother defended her 12-year-old daughter who brandished a gun at a classmate.24 25 “When a child is under frustration and being bullied, she is supposed to have help with self-defense,” the mother said. An Arizona woman was arrested for pouring teriyaki sauce on the floor of a cannabis dispensary.26
The state of California announced a ban on the sale of new gasoline cars and was sued by 17 other states.27 Scientists announced the creation of wind turbine blades that could be recycled into gummy bears.28 Invasive Burmese pythons implanted with tracking devices in Florida were reportedly found inside the bodies of larger snakes.28 An Indian man was arrested after burning the skin off his thumb and pasting it to a friend’s finger in an attempt to fool a biometric scanner at a railway job exam, and British firefighters rescued a man who had gotten his hand stuck in a sofa.29 30 Finland’s prime minister, Sanna Marin, apologized for a photo taken at her official summer residence of two topless women kissing and covering their breasts with a sign that said finland, and a nightclub in Australia banned staring without prior verbal consent.31 32 A church in Texas agreed to destroy all recordings of an unauthorized production of Hamilton in which the titular founding father repents for his sins and accepts Jesus, and FN Meka, an A.I.-based rapper whose lyrics are derived from machine analysis of popular hip-hop songs, was dropped from Capitol Records amid accusations of racism.33 34 35 It was reported that a San Francisco startup was developing technology to make call-center workers sound whiter.36 The U.S. Commerce Department reported that, in spite of elevated inflation, consumer prices fell from June to July, and a Florida man who in 2018 was arrested for trying to buy a child for $200,000 was arrested for trying to buy a child for $100,000.37 38 Perseverance Hall collapsed.39 —Jon Edelman
