Weekly Review

It was revealed that FTX, a cryptocurrency exchange, had used billions of dollars of its customers’ funds to make investments through its sister company, Alameda Research, a cryptocurrency trading firm; FTX, which froze users’ ability to withdraw funds, and approximately 130 affiliated companies declared bankruptcy.¹ Sam Bankman-Fried, the founder and former CEO of FTX, who once said in an interview “I’m very skeptical of books,” saw his net worth drop 94 percent, the largest wealth collapse ever recorded in a single day.^{2 3} Jeff Bezos announced that he planned to give away most of his $124 billion fortune during his lifetime to mitigate climate change and heal political division, and Amazon announced plans to lay off nearly 10,000 employees, the largest round of layoffs in the company’s history.^{4 5} “Unfortunately, this did not play out the way I expected,” Mark Zuckerberg said in his announcement that he would terminate 11,000 employees, which the company attributed in part to Apple’s increased privacy controls.^{6 7} Dozens of Twitter employees were asked via email to return to work after being fired, and Elon Musk’s trial for misleading Tesla shareholders into approving a $56 billion pay package for himself began.^{8 9} A judge in Edinburgh ruled that, because of matching DNA, tattoos, and fingerprints, a man arrested in a Scottish hospital last year claiming to be Arthur Knight, an Irish orphan, is in fact the American fugitive Nicholas Rossi, who faked his own death to avoid being prosecuted on felony rape and sexual assault charges.¹⁰ Pennsylvania’s longest-serving state representative, Anthony DeLuca, was posthumously reelected.¹¹

Efforts to end slavery and involuntary servitude as punishment for prisoners succeeded in Alabama, Oregon, Tennessee, and Vermont, and failed in Louisiana.¹² “The messaging needs to be more positive,” said the founder of the 1776 Project PAC when asked about the failure of two-thirds of its parents’ rights candidates—those who object to discussions of transgender rights, racism, and sexuality in schools—to succeed in the midterms.¹³ Ted Cruz, who decried the “woke mob” in his CPAC speech, was booed and hit with two cans of White Claw during a parade in Houston celebrating the Astros’s world series win.^{14 15} A 23-year-old who threw eggs at King Charles in York was banned from carrying eggs in public, and the TSA reported that a raw chicken was used to conceal a firearm at an airport in Florida.^{16 17} KFC Germany apologized after its automated content system sent a mobile push notification titled “Anniversary of the Reich’s pogrom night” that urged users to “treat yourself to more tender cheese with crispy chicken.”^{18 19} “Sometimes hard lessons are the best lessons,” said Katie Quackenbush, a Nashville woman who was sentenced to probation after shooting an unhoused man, who had been awakened by the exhaust fumes and music coming from her Porsche SUV, twice as he walked away from her vehicle.²⁰

Princess Märtha Louise of Norway will relinquish her official duties as she and her fiancé, Durek Verrett, a sixth-generation shaman who has claimed he is a “hybrid species of reptilian and Andromeda” and that cancer is a choice, seek to distinguish between their spiritual activities and the royal house.²¹ Researchers found that primrose oil increased women’s enjoyment of intercourse, the National Park Service asked visitors to stop licking Sonoran Desert toads, and the first sexless kitten was discovered in England.^{22 23 24} A new poll found Deadwood, South Dakota, to be among the coziest small towns in America.²⁵ An off-duty police officer who drunkenly fired his service arm outside a bar in San Bernardino, California, was put on administrative leave.²⁶ The inventor of the Oculus created a virtual reality headset that uses explosive charges to kill the user in real life if they die in the game.²⁷ —Marlene Khamis