Joe Biden—who once claimed that an Amtrak conductor had congratulated him for traveling more miles by train than by Air Force Two while vice president, but when asked for verification, said that the conductor had died—ended three years of union negotiations with rail workers by imposing a contract on them that does not provide any paid sick days.1 2 “I’ve been their third biggest Republican donor this year as well,” said Sam Bankman-Fried, the founder of the cryptocurrency exchange FTX and the second-largest Democratic Party donor, of his dark-money political contributions.3 Michael Avenatti was sentenced to 14 years in prison for stealing millions from his clients.4 Donald Trump called for the Constitution to be suspended.5 The Supreme Court heard oral arguments in a case in which a web designer is seeking the right to refuse to create pages for same-sex couples, Putin signed a law that forbids public expression of LGBTQ+ identities in public, and Iran weighed disbanding its morality police.6 7 8 A Buddhist temple in Thailand lay empty after the four monks, including an abbot, who resided there tested positive for meth.9 A New Zealand couple refused to allow their infant son to undergo a lifesaving heart operation unless he was provided unvaccinated blood.10 A piece of stained upholstery from the limousine John F. Kennedy was assassinated in sold for $16,000.11 Alex Jones declared bankruptcy.12
Despite Prime Minister Rishi Sunak’s request that British rail workers “think again,” union leadership announced plans to begin striking before Christmas.13 14 Austria implemented legislation aimed at punishing “boy racers.”15 Russians were banned from a re-creation of the Battle of Austerlitz.16 “First of all, let us be clear: no panic!” said French president Emmanuel Macron of potential electricity rationing in the coming months.17 As protests calling for the end of China’s zero-COVID policy and Xi Jinping’s resignation entered their second week, the CCP allegedly instituted “the highest level of content management,” which censored websites and blocked VPN technology.18 19 “Frankly, the risk of something bad happening to me, or even literally being shot, is quite significant,” said Elon Musk, the owner of Twitter and Neuralink, a medical technology company that is currently under federal investigation for torturing animals.20 21 A 72-year-old woman was arrested after allegedly shutting off her hospital roommate’s ventilator twice because she found the sound annoying, and a sheriff’s deputy was fatally shot by his roommate, a fellow sheriff’s deputy, who “jokingly” pointed his gun at him and pulled the trigger; the surviving officer described the incident as a “clearly dumb and avoidable accident.”22 23 A dog fatally shot his owner after stepping on a shotgun.24 “Goblin mode” became the Oxford word of the year.25
Baguettes entered UNESCO’s list of Intangible Cultural Heritage.26 Tasty and That’s It, the fast-food chain that took over McDonald’s in Russia, expanded into Belarus.27 A Biloxi, Mississippi, man who allegedly bit off the nose of a fellow golfer and fled the scene in his Tesla turned himself in.28 A new study revealed that bats use false vocal folds, the same part of the larynx that death metal singers use, to communicate with each other.29 “Why don’t they tell the whole story?” asked Herschel Walker while commenting on Barack Obama’s mockery of Walker’s comment on vampires versus werewolves.30 Two University of Pittsburgh students were charged with abuse of a corpse.31 A mysterious wooden object that had been unearthed by Hurricanes Ian and Nicole continued to perplex authorities in Florida.32 —Violet Lucca
