Weekly Review

In Germany, 3,000 police officers and special forces operatives arrested a group of 25 conspirators who planned to overthrow the government and install as ruler a minor aristocrat named Prince Heinrich XIII, whose family described him as a “confused old man.”¹ The plotters, whose ranks included a judge, a doctor, a cook, a classical tenor, three police officers, and a former member of the special forces, were influenced by the Reichsbürger movement, a conspiracy group that believes in QAnon and that the postwar German Republic is actually a corporation set up by the Allied powers.² The Trump Organization was convicted of 17 counts of tax fraud and other crimes, and will be fined a maximum of $1.62 million, less than it paid to fight the case.^{3 4} Two items marked classified were reportedly found in a Florida storage unit rented by the twice-impeached former president, amid what a source described as “suits and swords and wrestling belts.”⁵ South African president Cyril Ramaphosa avoided impeachment after a report alleged that he covered up the theft of a large sum of U.S. currency that was hidden in a sofa at his privately owned game farm.⁶ Facing impeachment for the third time in less than 18 months, Peruvian president Pedro Castillo attempted to dissolve the legislature, establish an emergency government, and impose a national curfew.⁷ Castillo, who had cycled through more than 80 ministers, neglected to buy fertilizer for the biggest planting season of the year, and whose daughter disappeared from the presidential palace while facing charges, was arrested and sought asylum in Mexico.^{8 9} The Russian government traded the American basketball star Brittney Griner, who was convicted of possessing less than a gram of hash oil, for Viktor Bout, a weapons dealer who was nicknamed “the McDonald’s of arms trafficking.”^{10 11} A study found a link between ultra-processed foods and dementia, and court documents revealed that a polygamist cult leader bribed his teenage daughter to marry him with $50 and two large bags of Doritos.^{12 13}

The suspect in the Club Q shooting was charged with 305 crimes, and his lawyers stopped referring to him as “they” and “them” in court filings.^{14 15} “I don’t even know what the heck is a pronoun,” Georgia senatorial candidate Herschel Walker was reported to have said at a campaign event; days later, Walker lost his race.^{16 17} Maxwell Alejandro Frost, the first congressperson-elect from Generation Z, revealed that he was denied an apartment in Washington, D.C., because of his “really bad” credit, which he said resulted from debt he had accrued running for office.¹⁸ An Energy Department official was accused of stealing luggage from an airport for the second time, and the Supreme Court discussed whether a black mall Santa would have to take a photo with a child wearing KKK robes.^{19 20} A British man was found guilty of perverting the course of justice in a drugs trial after a witness nodded and winked at him before testifying, and a Michigan man charged in an antisemitic incident had his bond revoked after mooning a judge.^{21 22} A man who commented “how about me?” on a sheriff’s department Facebook list of most wanted criminals was arrested on two outstanding warrants.²³ “What is a social media post?” asked a judge trying the case of a nightclub that uploaded videos of patrons violating COVID-19 rules.²⁴ Two women sued Apple after their former partners used AirTags to stalk them, and a 77-year-old Denver woman sued the police after her house was raided because of imprecise information from Apple’s “Find My” app.^{25 26} Two climate protesters who interrupted a violin concerto by gluing themselves to a removable railing were relocated to a hallway.²⁷

A Canadian doctor granted approval for euthanasia to a man who wanted to die because he was poor.²⁸ The workers at a British homelessness charity went on strike, claiming that their wages left them on the verge of homelessness.²⁹ A Kansas Olive Garden manager was fired after sending staff a text message threatening to fire employees for absenteeism.³⁰ “If your dog died, you need to bring him in and prove it to us,” the ex-manager wrote. It was reported that an Orlando man was arrested for having sex with a goldendoodle and damaging a nativity scene.³¹ In Kerala, two Christian groups were reported to have beaten each other up over the correct direction in which to pray, and in Johannesburg, at least 14 drowned in a flash flood during a baptism.^{32 33} An African man was reported to have been killed by bees that he thought were his reincarnated ancestors.³⁴ “Death is a natural part of life,” said Qatar’s World Cup chief after a migrant worker was killed during the tournament.³⁵ A Spanish woman was sentenced to prison after decapitating her husband and giving a box containing his skull to her neighbor, saying it was full of sex toys.³⁶ “This walks, talks, quacks like a human vagina,” said a Harvard bioengineer who created a simulation of the organ on a silicon chip.³⁷ Researchers found no relationship between psychopathy and the enjoyment of cumshot porn.³⁸ A Turkish wall relief of a man gripping his penis while flanked by leopards was named as the earliest known depiction of a narrative scene.³⁹ —Jon Edelman