Shirking 9 to 5,

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From a list of reasons given for missing work, collected by CareerBuilder in a survey completed by 2,303 hiring managers and human-resources professionals.

got stuck in the blood-pressure machine at the grocery store

just put a casserole in the oven

sick to stomach because her girdle was too tight

ate laced brownies

caught uniform on fire by putting it in the microwave to dry

needed to stay home to tend to depressed cat

had to go interview for another job

at the casino all weekend and still had money to play with on Monday morning

wife took the kids and moved, and did not tell him

still drunk from the night before

accidentally got on a plane

woke up in a good mood and didn’t want to ruin it