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[Readings]

Some Like It Scott

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From TikTok videos of customers ordering the Travis Scott Meal. The meal, which includes a Quarter Pounder, french fries, and a Sprite, is a collaboration between McDonald’s and Travis Scott, a hip-hop artist who sometimes refers to himself as Cactus Jack. In September, McDonald’s sent a memo to its franchisees warning them of “alternate ordering methods” their employees might encounter for the meal, including customers playing Scott’s song “Sicko Mode.” Fortnite is an online video game.

customer: Hi, uh, a guy named Cactus Jack sent me?
employee: Excuse me?
customer: Cactus Jack sent me?
employee: What’s that?
customer: It’s—uh, I was told . . . Anyway, I’ll just do the Travis Scott Meal.
employee: Okay, and what drink?
customer: Sprite, of course.
employee: Six sixty-three.
customer: It’s lit!

customer: You already know what I’m here for.
employee: Sorry?
customer: You know what I’m here for.
employee: Um, I’m not sure.
customer: [Plays “Sicko Mode”]
employee: What the—all right.

employee: What can I get for you?
customer: You know what I’m here for, man.
employee: All right, anything else?
customer: [Plays “Sicko Mode”]

customer: Hi, uh, can I get the Travis Scott Meal? It’s lit!
employee: We’re actually sold out for today. I’m sorry.
customer: It’s not lit!

employee: Welcome to McDonald’s. How can I help you?
customer: You already know why we’re here.
employee: I’m sorry?
customer: [Plays “Sicko Mode”]
employee: Oh, okay.
customer: Nah, I’m kidding. Can I just have two Oreo McFlurries?
employee: Oh damn, we don’t even got ice cream.
customer: Bruh.

employee: May I take your order?
customer: Yeah, um, can I please get the Drake sandwich?
employee: Do you want the Travis Scott Meal?
customer: My son told me there was a Fortnite rapper meal? You got that here?
employee: Yes, we have the Travis Scott Meal.
customer: Travis Scott? Awesome. Yeah, could I please have two of those? Extra sicko sauce.
employee: What? Extra sicko sauce? What is that supposed to be?
customer: I don’t know, but it’s lit.

employee: Whenever you’re ready.
customer: I don’t want to take up too much of your time. You already know why I’m here. [Plays “Sicko Mode”]
employee: Yeah, you kind of wasted my time.

customer: Um, Cactus Jack sent me?
employee: For the Travis Scott Meal?
customer: Yeah, Cactus Jack sent me.
employee: Anything else?
customer: It’s lit!
employee: All right.
customer: It’s lit!
employee: We don’t need any of that, bro. Burger King is across the street if you’re thinking of doing that.
customer: But Burger King doesn’t have the Travis Scott Meal.
employee: I don’t care. We’re not here to play, bro, we’re making bread here, all right? We’re making money. We’re not here to joke around, kid. We’re here to hustle.

customer: I know a lot of people have been ordering the Travis Scott burgers?
employee: Yeah.
customer: I just wanted to apologize for everybody putting you through that.
employee: Okay.
customer: Nah, I’m just kidding.

employee: What would you like to order?
customer: Yeah, you know why we’re here. [Plays “Sicko Mode”]
employee: I’m not going to give you it.
customer: Can we get a—
employee: I’m getting tired of y’all doing that. It’s not original at all. You’re probably the five-thousandth person to do it to me.

customer: You know what I want.
employee: This is a Dairy Queen.


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December 2020