From the minutes of a meeting of the Boca Raton Planning and Zoning Board held on March 2.

ashley cream: Good evening. I am here as a concerned citizen and voter. Florida has the largest per capita population of sugar daddies in the United States. In Miami, Palm Beach, and Boca lies the most concentrated populace of these benefactors. Sugar daddies both gay and straight—and yes, even sugar mommies—are responsible for college educations, cars, homes, rents, jets, Birkins, and the occasional body enhancement, all supporting our local economy. I stand before you requesting that you decree a sugar daddy and mommy appreciation day to honor those who have given us so much.

board member: Thank you. Thank you. But that’s a City Council issue.