Sequestration remonstration, shticklomacy in North Korea, and the menagerie of Nutzu the Pawnbroker Read More
Meteoric tidings, a paraplegic piglet's wheelchair, and Chubby Checker's Chubby Checker check Read More
Inauguration week politics, Aramaic vowel preservation, and Canadian foreskin awareness Read More
Australian wildfires, Giant Peach arithmetic, and Russian zorb misadventures Read More
A (relatively) diverse new Congress, Brigitte Bardot's elephant empathy, and life on Ezie Street Read More
Typhoon tears, undiplomatic leg-crossing, and a fashionable Canadian macaque Read More
Syria’s communications blackout, North Korea’s unicorn lair, and Iceland’s ram-penis economy Read More
“There has never been a battle,” said a general of the Free Syrian Army, “with this much booty.” Read More
Turmoil in Gaza, Republican hand-wringing, and a narcoleptic goat named Voldemort Read More
The U.S. presidential election, Sandy sex, and the super perv powder of an antivirus pioneer Read More
Americans prepare to choose a president, a blindfolded Egyptian child chooses a pope, and Siri refuses to help you find a prostitute in China. Read More
“San Diego is gorgeous this time of year!” tweeted Cindy McCain. “I’m in heaven!” Read More
“A paleoanthropologist determined that prehistoric man ate pandas, researchers disproved the Five-Second Rule, and a cat discovered 2,000-year-old catacombs in Rome.” Read More
“Jean-François Copé, the secretary general of France’s center-right opposition, lamented what he said was widespread bullying of French youths by devout Muslims. ‘There are areas,’ said Copé, ‘where children cannot even eat their pains au chocolat because it’s Ramadan.’” Read More
“A pro-Kremlin youth group made a video for Vladimir Putin’s sixtieth birthday, set to 'Blueberry Hill,' that showed attractive young women riding on horseback, scoring in a hockey game against the United States, and retrieving an urn from the sea.” Read More
“Authorities in Idaho traced a finger discovered inside a trout to Haans Galassi, who lost four fingers in a wakeboarding accident two months ago. ‘There’s still three more,’ said the detective who identified the finger. ‘It’s hard to say where those are going to end up.’” Read More
“Two hunters, one in Utah and another in Bordeaux, France, were shot by their own dogs. ‘It wasn’t the dog’s fault,’ said the French sportsman, whose hand had to be amputated. ‘He’s adorable!’” Read More
"The Birmingham National Sea Life Center in England reported that a nurse shark named Florence had become a vegetarian following surgery three years ago to remove a rusty hook. 'We’re having to hide pieces of fish inside celery sticks, hollowed out cucumbers, and between the leaves of lettuces to get her to eat them,' said curator Graham Burrows." Read More
Barack Obama accepted his party’s nomination for the 2012 presidential race at the Democratic National Convention in Charlotte, North Carolina. “Times have changed, and so have I,” said Obama in his acceptance speech. “I’m no longer just a candidate. I’m the president.” Obama drew 35.7 million television viewers,… Read More
Mitt Romney formally accepted the Republican presidential nomination at the party’s national convention in Tampa, Florida. “What America needs is jobs,” said Romney. “Lots of jobs.” John Boehner suggested that Romney would be helped by low turnout among Hispanic and African American voters; Romney’s campaign held a party for… Read More
As Tropical Storm Isaac accelerated northward through the Gulf of Mexico, officials at the Republican National Convention in Tampa postponed the formal nomination of Mitt Romney as the party’s presidential candidate from Monday to Tuesday, and Florida governor Rick Scott declared a state of emergency. “Preparation is a key… Read More
In Moscow, a hundred-year moratorium was placed on gay-pride parades, and Judge Marina Syrova sentenced members of the punk band Pussy Riot to two years in a prison camp for felony hooliganism related to an impromptu anti-Putin performance at a Russian Orthodox cathedral in February. Before delivering her verdict,… Read More