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Readings

Excerpts from the best and most bizarre new books, testimonies, government documents, journals, news reports, speeches, and letters.

How Do You Do

From the 2022 edition of the literary annual NOON, which will be published this month. The four-poster double bed from the redbrick house took up most of the new bedroom,…

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The Witchcraft We Need

Adapted from the essay “Histories, I,” included in the collection In the Margins, which will be published this month by Europa. Translated from the Italian. Anyone with literary ambitions knows…

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Exit Interview

From The Very Last Interview, a collection of questions loosely adapted from interviews with the writer David Shields, which will be published this month by New York Review Books. Any…

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K9-1-1

From accounts of calls made by a dog to a human using DogPhone, a toy ball that initiates a video call when moved. The experiments were recounted in Proceedings of…

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Mechanical Jerk

From reports of statements made by Alexa, Amazon’s virtual assistant, since 2017. The coronavirus was released as a terror attack on the economy of the world Chemtrails left by aircraft…

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Pusher Alerts

From One Pill Can Kill, a document published in December by the DEA that purports to demonstrate how emojis are used in text conversations about drugs. percocet and oxycodone: 💊…

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Gray-Area Lady

From December headlines in the New York Times that were altered after publication. The changes were detected by the @nyt_diff Twitter bot, which automatically tweets alterations to the Times website.…

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The Mirror

From Late Fragments, which will be published next month by Yale University Press. Translated from the French. A frightful-looking man comes in and looks at himself in the mirror. “Why…

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In-Flight Meal

From a report, published in November, of an uncooperative passenger entered into Delta’s Aircraft Communications, Addressing, and Reporting System. FI DL1360/AN N326US<< DT DDL CVG 021734 M22A<< – 3401/02 KSYR/KATL…

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Artless Response

From letters exchanged in 1982 between the Whitney Museum of American Art and an author and critic referred to here as E.R. Harper’s Magazine obtained the letters in November.  …

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Cutting Lines

From the lyrics of a song sung in Polish by a plush dancing cactus. The toy is marketed as an educational tool for children and was sold on Walmart.com until…

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Blast Rites

From promotional materials for a mobile field altar. In October, the Polish defense ministry announced plans to purchase three hundred altars, which reportedly included chalices, crosses, candlesticks, and camouflage liturgical…

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Separate and Unequal

From The South: Jim Crow and Its Afterlives, which will be published this month by Verso. The everyday life of the segregation era is not much discussed outside academia. More…

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Campaign Fowl

From an interview with Jim Puckett, the mayor of Fitzgerald, Georgia, that was conducted in November by the CBC Radio correspondent Carol Off. Puckett lost his 2021 bid for reelection…

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Uncool Whip

From complaints submitted to the City of Reno, Nevada, last year. One night this summer I was walking with my wife and two friends from out of town. We witnessed…

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Bond Market

From “License to Dine: 007 and the Real Exchange Rate,” a working paper from the National Bureau of Economic Research, which compares the evolution of James Bond’s salary with that…

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Wildlife Fund

From “Animal, Vegetable, Capital,” an essay that appeared in Issue 3 of Lux Magazine. Recently, following some rounds of trial and error in search of food that wouldn’t upset my…

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The Bathers

From Portrait of an Unknown Lady, a novel, which will be published next month by Catapult. Translated from the Spanish. I had been working in the art valuations department at…

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Yacht to Know Better

From “Why yachting families make great climate caretakers,” which was published in November on the website Superyacht Life. The average superyacht is estimated to produce 7,020 tons of carbon dioxide…

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Everyone’s a Critic

From a list of accidental damage done to works of art since 2000, collected in Artifacts: Fascinating Facts about Art, Artists, and the Art World, which will be published this…

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Feast of the First Morning of the First Day

From A Thousand Times You Lose Your Treasure, a poetry collection, which was published in April 2021 by Wave Books. You want money to flow into the house like water…

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Some Deaths Before Dying

From “How to Be Married,” an essay in the collection How to Be Normal, which will be published next month by Belt Publishing. For some of us, there’s a season…

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Like a Thief in the Night

From Pure Colour, a novel, which will be published next month by Farrar, Straus and Giroux. Mira left home. Then she got a job at a lamp store. The lamp…

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Sixth Elegy

From Little Elegies for Sister Satan, a poetry collection, which was published in May 2021 by New Directions. Here, Sister, it can be said that good-by means hello, day night,…

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Mop Boss

From Corruptible, a book of non-fiction, which was published in November 2021 by Scribner. 1. Steve Raucci was far from the top of the district pecking order. He made $37,500…

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Soul Proprietor

From Sentence, a memoir, which will be published next month by Viking. The entire time I was in prison, I owned a typewriter, and it was on this typewriter that…

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INBOX ($0)

From fund-raising emails sent by the campaign of former Virginia governor Terry McAuliffe, a Democrat who ran unsuccessfully for a second term in 2021. I’m going to level with you:…

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Chronicle of a Death Foreteller

From “7417 Hollywood Boulevard,” which was published in October 2021 in the fourth volume of his All Night Menu series, a history of Los Angeles in five installments. Each booklet…

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March 2022

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