The Adventures of Donald Trump (cont.)

“What I say,” says Trump, “is what I say.”

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Donald Trump says John Lewis is "all talk," a scientist transfuses test participants with "young blood," and a man in San Francisco returns a 100-year-old library book.

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A Turkish police officer kills a Russian ambassador, an asylum seeker drives a truck through a Christmas market, and a 66-year-old albatross named Wisdom lays an egg

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Donald Trump is elected president, hate crimes sweep the United States, and a bald eagle dies

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The Ku Klux Klan endorses Donald Trump, the FBI says Hillary Clinton won't be prosecuted, and Americans pick their next president

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Donald Trump vows to sue women who accuse him of sexual assault, a train derails in Cameroon, and the Cubs win the pennant

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Donald Trump is accused of sexual assault, a G.O.P. office is firebombed, and a man saves a dog from an imaginary fire

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Hurricane Matthew kills more than 1,000 people in Haiti, Donald Trump attempts to apologize for bragging that he grabs women by their genitals, and scientists conclude humans will never live past 125.

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A train derails in New Jersey, Rodrigo Duterte likens himself to Adolf Hitler, and a blind hoarder in Brooklyn discovers she has been living with the decomposing corpse of her son for 20 years

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