Weekly Review
A suicide bomber kills 35 people at a bank in Jalalabad, Hillary Clinton doesn't tip at Chipotle, and a chiropractor admits to bartering treatments for sex
A 65-foot boat carrying migrants to Europe from Libya capsized in the Mediterranean Sea, leaving hundreds of people trapped inside. Rescue boats recovered 28 survivors, one of whom estimated that as many as 950 passengers drowned. Four hundred additional migrants died when a Libyan vessel traveling to Italy capsized 80 miles south of the island of Lampedusa, and 41 of 45 migrants onboard a rubber dinghy were reported to have drowned when it sank off the coast of Libya. “There are many, many bodies in the water,” said a United Nations spokesman. “It’s really a matter of very great concern.”[1][2][3][4] Italian police arrested 15 Muslim migrants for allegedly throwing 12 Christians overboard during a recent trip across the Mediterranean, and a video released by the Islamic State appeared to show militants in Libya shooting one group of Ethiopian Christians and beheading another. “You will not have safety,” said a masked Islamic State fighter, “even in your dreams.”[5][6][7] A suicide bomber reportedly associated with the Islamic State detonated his explosive vest in a crowd of civilians at a bank in Jalalabad, Afghanistan, killing at least 35 people.[8] The U.N. World Meteorological Organization announced that it would substitute Ivette for Isis on its official list of names for future hurricanes.[9]
Police in Jennings, Missouri, killed a 23-year-old black man who charged at them with a knife and a Bible during a standoff, and an officer in New Richmond, Ohio, was praised for not shooting a white murder suspect who charged at him while repeatedly asking to be shot. “For him to make the judgment call that he did,” said the city’s police chief, “shows great restraint and maturity.”[10][11] Sixty thousand U.S. workers demanding a minimum wage of $15 per hour demonstrated in more than 200 cities, including New York, where 15,000 protesters marched in Midtown Manhattan.[12][13] It was reported that Hillary Clinton did not tip the employees at a Maumee, Ohio, Chipotle restaurant from which she purchased a chicken burrito bowl; an 81-year-old North Carolina man requested, before dying, that no one vote for Clinton; and prostitutes at the Moonlite Bunny Ranch in Carson City, Nevada, announced a Hookers 4 Hillary campaign that will offer perks to customers who donate to the candidate. “I’m voting for Hillary Clinton,” said a prostitute named Air Force Amy, “because I have just as much trouble with my emails.”[14][15][16]
A farmer in Surrey, England, was ordered by the Reigate and Banstead Borough Council to tear down his cannon-equipped castle, which he had built secretly and then concealed behind hay bales.[17] A cardiologist from Sands Point, New York, who was found to have been storing 100 high-powered weapons and battle axes behind a secret bookcase in his home, was arrested for plotting to kill a rival cardiologist; a dental office manager in New York City was arrested for pulling patients’ teeth and performing root-canal surgery while the dentist was out of the office; and a chiropractor in Lamoni, Iowa, surrendered his medical license after admitting that he bartered sex for treatments and performed exorcisms. “That’s ridiculous,” said a local man. “You got to maintain your professionalism.”[18][19][20][21] A wolverine was tranquilized at Newark International Airport in New Jersey after it chewed through its metal cage during a flight from Norway. “It was growling and stuff like that,” said the executive director of the conservation center in Alaska to which the wolverine was headed, “but maybe they do that all the time.”[22] A Florida mailman was arrested for landing his single-man gyrocopter on the lawn of the U.S. Capitol; video surfaced of a man sleeping on a luggage carousel at Domodedovo Airport in Moscow; and a baggage handler who fell asleep in the cargo hold of a parked Alaska Airlines plane was woken up by shifting luggage as the plane took off. “I’m in a plane and it feels like it’s moving in the air,” he told a 911 operator as he banged on the roof of the cargo hold. “Can you please tell someone to stop it?”[23][24][25]
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