The city of Portland unveiled the Poopmaster 6000, which will clean crow droppings from city sidewalks. Researchers in Germany developed tiny bionic “spermbots” that escort slow-swimming sperm to eggs, and a man in Britain claimed to have fathered at least 800 children by selling his sperm on Facebook. "They’re just the ones I know of," he said. Read more...
The United States lifted $100 billion worth of economic sanctions against Iran, including restrictions on Iranian banking, money transfers, trade, insurance, and transport. As part of the deal, Iran released four American prisoners. Ten U.S. sailors were detained by Iran when their ship drifted into the country’s waters and released after one day in custody. Al Qaeda claimed responsibility for a string of terrorist attacks in Burkina Faso that killed 30 people, many of them tourists; and an Islamic State operative in Istanbul walked into a group of German tourists and detonated explosives strapped to his chest, killing ten people. Starbucks temporarily shut down its 200 locations in Indonesia after two people were killed in an Islamic State suicide attack at one of the company’s Jakarta stores, and a Kurdish separatist group apologized for killing children in a car bombing in southern Turkey. A report found that the world’s 62 richest people have as much wealth as the bottom half of the global population; and Goldman Sachs, where the average salary was $518,720 last year, agreed to pay a $5.1 billion settlement for its sale of toxic mortgage securities and its role in the 2008 financial crisis. In New Jersey, a dishwasher who quit his job after mistakenly believing he had won the $1.5 billion Powerball lottery jackpot went back to work. “It’s a shame we didn’t win,” said the man, “but I wouldn’t trade that feeling for anything.”
A man in France died after being rendered brain dead during a drug trial, and a state of emergency was declared in Flint, Michigan, when it was discovered that thousands of people had been exposed to toxic levels of lead in the city’s water supply. A chainsaw sculptor occupying an Oregon National Wildlife Refuge was arrested when he attempted to drive a government-owned vehicle to a nearby Safeway to pick up groceries. Border officials in Texas seized 2,493 pounds of marijuana hidden inside 2,817 fake carrots, a Canadian woman was arrested in New York State while trying to enter the United States with a foosball table filled with cannabis, and a Canadian man was arrested trying to bury a sled carrying 180 pounds of Xanax pills in Vermont. It was reported that Anthropolgie was selling a rusty trashcan for $99.95 and, in the Indian state of Bihar, a 13.5 percent luxury tax was introduced on mosquito repellent and samosas. Turkmenistan banned tobacco, Russia banned swearing in prison, and Auckland, New Zealand, banned mermaid swimsuits.
The city of Portland unveiled the Poopmaster 6000, which will clean crow droppings from city sidewalks. Researchers in Germany developed tiny bionic “spermbots” that escort slow-swimming sperm to eggs, and a man in Britain claimed to have fathered at least 800 children by selling his sperm on Facebook. “They’re just the ones I know of,” he said. A new annotated version of Hitler’s Mein Kampf sold out in Germany, and it was reported that a former concentration camp in Montenegro that housed political prisoners during World War II would be turned into a luxury resort with a “party ambience.” A dentist in Michigan was sued by her former employees for playing Christian music in the office, and a tribunal in England ruled that it had been an accident when a dentist exposed his penis to a dental nurse to whom he had also accidentally shown a picture of his penis a few years earlier. A daycare teacher in Virginia was convicted of cruelty for running a “baby fight club,” a 911 operator in Florida missed a call because she was ordering pizza on another line, and a prison official in Russia was arrested for stealing the pavement of a 31-mile stretch of road. In Britain, a man who ordered an Amazon Kindle received instead a piece of human tumour, and a Londoner named George Bush was arrested for trying to sell leopard skulls and monkey hands. A naked woman was arrested after throwing plates at customers in a Waffle House in Georgia, and an Ohio man was arrested for arson after he sent police a selfie in response to a post on the department’s Facebook page featuring his mug shot. “Here is a better photo,” he wrote. “That one is terrible.”
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