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[Weekly Review]

Weekly Review

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A 19-year-old stripper in Connecticut was arrested for arson after police found her boyfriend’s DNA on a potato, which she had allegedly shoved in the tailpipe of a van owned by the man whose business she set on fire; and inmates at a jail in El Dorado, Kansas, rioted in protest of a mashed-potato lunch. A former U.S. intelligence official said pornography constituted 80 percent of the material on jihadists’ seized laptops, and Starbucks and McDonald’s made porn inaccessible from their Wi-Fi networks. Read more...

WeeklyAvatar-SM.pngMembers of the Turkish military, calling themselves the Peace at Home Council, sealed two bridges on the Bosphorus and attempted to overthrow the government of President Recep Tayyip Erdogan.[1] “This move is a great favor from God,” said Erdogan.[2] In the days of protests that followed, at least 260 people died, about 3,000 soldiers were arrested, and nearly 2,700 judges were fired.[3][4][5] “The worst democracy,” said a fitness trainer, “is better than the best coup.”[6] In Nice, a 31-year-old man rammed a 19-ton refrigerated truck into a crowd watching Bastille Day fireworks on the Promenade des Anglais, killing 84 people and wounding hundreds more.[7] In Baton Rouge, a gunman fatally shot three law-enforcement officers and wounded three others.[8] “I love this city,” one of the slain officers wrote on Facebook a week before he died. “But I wonder if this city loves me.”[9] In preparation for the Republican National Convention, the city of Cleveland purchased groin protectors, recruited the homeless to report suspicious behavior, and kept courts running 20 hours a day in anticipation of mass arrests. “I’d rather be going to Fallujah,” a Marine was overheard to say.[10][11][12]

The Royal Canadian Mounted Police pulled over a black man who had been reading Mere Christianity in a parked car, and a woman in Mary Esther, Florida, crashed after driving through a stop sign while praying with her eyes closed.[13][14] A 19-year-old stripper in Connecticut was arrested for arson after police found her boyfriend’s DNA on a potato, which she had allegedly shoved in the tailpipe of a van owned by the man whose business she set on fire; and inmates at a jail in El Dorado, Kansas, rioted in protest of a mashed-potato lunch.[15][16] A former U.S. intelligence official said pornography constituted 80 percent of the material on jihadists’ seized laptops, and Starbucks and McDonald’s made porn inaccessible from their Wi-Fi networks.[17][18] The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention confirmed the first documented female-to-male sexual transmission of the Zika virus.[19] It was revealed that French president François Hollande’s personal hairdresser was paid 9,895 euros a month.[20] Japan’s Emperor Akihito announced that he would abdicate the Chrysanthemum Throne, and outgoing British prime minister David Cameron vacated 10 Downing Street, leaving behind a cat named Larry.[21][22]

Ecologists published the first comprehensive catalogue of 11,676 Amazonian tree species, including members of the Melastomataceae, Myrtaceae, and Malvaceae families.[23][24] A multimillionaire who dressed in gold was bludgeoned to death by a gang of twelve in Pune, India; a Pakistani Instagram star was strangled by her brother in Muzaffarabad; and a toddler was attacked by squirrels in a park in the United Kingdom.[25][26][27] Nuremberg’s Neues Museum filed a criminal complaint against a 91-year-old woman who completed a crossword puzzle that was in fact a $116,000 piece of avant-garde Danish art.[28] Deputies in Jasper County, Missouri, arrested a couple for riding a stolen lawnmower naked down Pleasant View Lane, Tennessee firefighters found a woman barbecuing a brisket in her bathtub, and a burglary suspect was found to be getting high off a human brain he stashed in a Walmart bag beneath his porch.[29][30][31] In South Korea, angry melon farmers hurled eggs and water bottles at the prime minister to protest a planned missile site, online commenters suggested the Ministry of Education change its name to the Ministry of Livestock, and the government launched a task force to combat the rampant mistranslation of menu items, including “roast grandmother,” “lifestyle meat,” and “chicken asshole house.”[32][33][34][35]

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