Weekly Review

At the Democratic National Convention in Philadelphia, Hillary Clinton became the first woman nominated for president by a major political party in the United States, and former president Bill Clinton fell asleep during her acceptance speech.^[1][2] Hillary Clinton told the audience “America is great,” and she, her husband, and vice-presidential nominee Tim Kaine played with red, white, and blue balloons onstage.^[3][4][5] President Barack Obama gave a speech in which he said that he saw “Americans of every party” pledge allegiance “under the same proud flag,” and a protestor outside the convention attempted to stomp on a burning American flag and lit herself on fire.^[6] Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump announced that he wouldn’t endorse Republican Speaker of the House Paul Ryan for reelection, kicked a crying baby out of a rally in Virginia, asked Russia to steal U.S. State Department emails, reportedly asked three times during a national-security briefing why the United States shouldn’t use nuclear weapons, and said he wanted to hit a “little guy” so hard “his head would spin.”^{[7][8][9][10][11]} Researchers in the United Kingdom discovered an orangutan that mimics human conversations.^[12]

In Uganda, authorities announced that they would begin using a spray that smells like human feces against rioters, and large piles of horse manure in Throop, New York, spontaneously burst into flames.^{[13][14]*[15]} Police in Virginia began investigating a Dunkin’ Donuts employee who they alleged had sprayed day-old doughnuts with a cleaning solution containing bleach and gave them away to a group of teenagers.^[16] Police in Orlando mistook the leftover glaze from a 64-year-old man’s doughnut for meth and arrested him.^[17] A homeless shelter in Vista, California, closed after returning $700,000 in federal funding so it did not have to take in drug addicts; and a man in Port Arthur, Texas, was indicted for breaking into a historic home, where he was found drinking Pina Colada mix in the nude.^[18][19] Four nuns in Argentina were accused by police of helping a former government official hide $9 million in their convent, and a priest in Louisiana was arrested on 500 counts of possessing child pornography.^[20][21] A poll found that a third of Danish people think Denmark is at war with Islam, and in Switzerland sales of pistols, revolvers, and pump-action guns reportedly rose by 50 percent in July.^[22][23]

A 39-year-old man in Brooklyn kidnapped his two-year-old daughter from his ex-girlfriend and then turned himself in when he realized he needed to change the baby’s diaper.^[24] A man in Georgia was arrested for attacking his wife because she made him a grilled-cheese sandwich with three slices of cheese instead of two.^[25] A 22-year-old woman in Florida shot herself in the hand while attempting to take a Snapchat video of herself posing with a .40-caliber pistol, and Apple sold its billionth iPhone.^[26][27] Facebook reported second-quarter revenues of $6.4 billion, the IRS reported that Facebook had not shown up to court for any of the summons it had received, and Brazilian prosecutors froze Facebook’s bank account for failing to turn over data about WhatsApp.^[28][29][30] In Wayne County, West Virginia, two dogs left in a running car in a Walmart parking lot put the vehicle in gear, drove into the store’s entrance, and rolled down the window. “It is,” said a resident, “Wayne.”^[31][32]

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*An earlier version of the Weekly mentioned a report about a woman who defecated on her boss’s desk. This was revealed to be a hoax.