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A group of researchers released a study identifying the Dark Empath personality type.

After updating the death toll from a boat that capsized off the coast of Libya two weeks ago, the International Organization for Migration reported that, since the beginning of the year, at least 215 migrants have been reported dead or missing in the Central Mediterranean.1 2 The social media influencer Stepan (a 13-year-old cat) and his owners secured safe passage from Kharkiv, Ukraine, to an apartment in France with the assistance of the World Influencers and Bloggers Association.3 “There are places to accommodate those refugees—while the Ukrainian refugees accept this, the other refugees refuse the state and humanitarian aid,” said the mayor of Calais, France, while denying a double standard of in the treatment of refugees.4 “And St. Patrick’s name is now Zelensky,” concluded a series of limericks written by Bono for Nancy Pelosi, which she read at the annual Friends of Ireland lunch in Washington, D.C.5 It was reported that droves of Russian professionals have resettled in Armenia, and the owner of a dog-grooming business attempted to take an Uber from Salford, England, to Ukraine after “one too many double pink gins and shots of Sambuca.”6 7 Using powers granted to him by martial law, Ukraine’s president signed a decree that suspended all private television channels and combined all state-run channels into one, and France’s president condemned the Malian government’s decision to cease broadcasting all French state-funded news.9 10 “[It] seems to me totally at odds with the values espoused by the people of Mali since its independence,” said Emmanuel Macron.

Syrian president Bashar al-Assad met with the crown prince of Abu Dhabi and the ruler of Dubai in the United Arab Emirates, in Assad’s first visit to an Arab state since 2011.11 In Turkmenistan, one of the most repressive nations in the world, 40-year-old Serdar Berdymukhammedov, the son of the current president, was declared the winner of the country’s presidential election after a vote-counting delay.12 13 Jair Bolsonaro, who has incentivized deforestation and mining on indigenous lands, was awarded Brazil’s Medal of Indigenous Merit along with 25 other people, several of whom are members of his government.14 Rodrigo Duterte said that, owing to his personal preferences and to prevent compulsive behavior, his government will continue to regulate online cockfighting and disallow 24-hour access to online gambling.15 Despite widespread criticism by public and private individuals, the NYPD declined to remove a quote about hunting men from Ernest Hemmingway’s “On the Blue Water,” painted on the wall of the 71st Precinct in Brooklyn.16 The Kenosha Unified School District school board released surveillance footage of an off-duty police officer putting his knee on the neck of a 12-year-old girl during a lunchroom fight, and a former police deputy was sentenced to one year in prison for the negligent homicide of a 17-year-old boy outside of Cabot, Arkansas.17 18 The premier of Manitoba used the time allotted to her in the legislature to address why there was no inquest into the death of a 31-year-old mother of two from the Ebb and Flow First Nation to congratulate her own son and his hockey team.18 A group of researchers released a study identifying the Dark Empath personality type.19

Archaeologists uncovered five ancient tombs outside Cairo, and a South African court stopped the construction of an Amazon HQ on the grounds that the location is a holy site.20 21 Following Tom Brady’s announcement that he would return to the sport, the football he used in his last touchdown pass, which had been auctioned for $518,000 hours before, lost 90 percent of its value.22 A venomous snake that had been sealed inside a medicinal wine bottle bit the man who opened it.23 A South Carolina man who was not wearing a life vest and fell off his Jet Ski twice was shot by one of his rescuers.24 A Florida bridge tender was arrested for manslaughter after police discovered she had texted “I killed a lady on the bridge” to a friend.25 Ted Cruz lamented the contentious nature of Supreme Court confirmation hearings a day after a public safety officer was called to defuse an argument between the senator and airline personnel at the Bozeman, Montana, airport.26 27 New research argued that the existence of hairy black holes resolves one of physics’ greatest paradoxes.28Violet Lucca

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