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A black cat with abnormally large eyes and paws became the temporary mayor of Hell, Michigan.

The former Republican senator Orrin Hatch, who moonlighted as a Christian songwriter, alleged that parts of Anita Hill’s accusations against Clarence Thomas had been plagiarized from the book The Exorcist, and once said, “I wouldn’t want to see homosexuals teaching school any more than I’d want to see members of the American Nazi Party teaching school,” died.1 2 3 Florida governor Ron DeSantis revoked a legal provision that afforded Disney operational autonomy in the state after Disney’s CEO expressed concern about state legislation that has been alternatively dubbed the “Don’t Say Gay” and the “Anti-Grooming” bill.4 5 6 It was reported that the United States, which has trained and/or armed groups that became Al Qaeda, ISIS, and decades-long military dictatorships, is unsure if weaponry sent to Ukraine would end up with official Ukrainian forces or with militants they did not intend to arm, and, despite a E.U.-wide ban on arms sales to Russia that has been in place since 2014, France and Germany have provided nearly $300 million in military equipment and arms to the federation.7 8 9 10 Vladimir Putin congratulated Emmanuel Macron, who became the first French president to secure reelection in 20 years, for his victory over Marine Le Pen, in an election with the lowest turnout in 50 years.11 12 13 The FDA launched an investigation into Lucky Charms.14

“There was definitely a contingent of old-school—you know—old-boy-network types who resented me,” said Alfreda Scheuer, a former CIA station chief who tortured suspected members of Islamic terrorist groups around the world and is now a beauty influencer for middle-aged women who hopes to help them “look good, feel good, and do good.”15 “It is what people want,” said a singer of saffron pop, a genre of Hindu-nationalist music that is often played before mass violence against Muslims.16 More than 40 people were arrested at an anti-Muslim rally in Norrköping, Sweden, which was organized by the Danish-Swedish politician Rasmus Paludan with the intent to burn a Qur’an.17 “We hope Sweden can earnestly respect the religious beliefs of minority groups, including Muslims,” said a spokesperson for China’s Foreign Ministry.18 An Arizona judge rejected an appeal from a death-row inmate who pointed out that, in violation of state law, the state’s clemency board was composed mainly of law enforcement officers by stating that law enforcement is not a “profession,” and Texas carried out its first execution of the year, killing a 78-year-old man who fatally shot a police officer during a traffic stop.19 20 “If somebody is breaking into your house, you’re more than welcome to shoot at them,” said the sheriff of Santa Rosa County, Florida, during a press conference about a burglary arrest, adding: “We prefer that you do, actually.”21 A man who threatened to “shoot up” and “bomb” the headquarters of the Merriam-Webster dictionary because he objected to the dictionary’s definitions of “girl” and “woman,” which he called “anti-science propaganda,” was arrested in Massachusetts.22

In Tampa, a 32-year-old male volunteer at a Crisis Center hotline was arrested after sexting a teenager who had called for help.23 A woman who tumbled headfirst into an outdoor toilet in the Olympia National Forest in Washington while trying to retrieve her phone was rescued after spending nearly half an hour inside the container below.24 A black cat with abnormally large eyes and paws became the temporary mayor of Hell, Michigan, and a pet duck who ran away from its owners led to the discovery of the body of a North Carolina woman who had been missing for at least a year.25 26 An employee whose office held a birthday party for him against his will and who was fired shortly thereafter was awarded $450,000.27 It was announced that after three years of dormancy, the Large Hadron Collider will resume operations near Geneva, performing experiments that could demystify dark matter and the origins of the universe.28 29 Elon Musk purchased Twitter for $44 billion.30Sara Krolewski

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