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[Weekly Review]

Weekly Review

Colorado representative Lauren Boebert was ejected from a performance of the musical Beetlejuice after vaping, using her phone to record the show, and stroking her companion’s crotch.

For his first overseas trip in more than four years, North Korean supreme leader Kim Jong-Un visited Russia, meeting with President Vladmir Putin.1 Kim, who arrived in a bulletproof train with an estimated top speed of 37 miles per hour, reportedly discussed the provision of ammunition to Russia in exchange for food, cash, and weapons technology, traded gifts of rifles with Putin, toured a space rocket launch site, and took in a walrus show at the Primorsky aquarium.2 3 4 5 Before meeting with Kim, Putin spoke at the Eastern Economic Forum in Vladivostok, where he praised former U.S. President Donald Trump for claiming that, if reelected, he would resolve the war between Russia and Ukraine in 24 hours. “We cannot help but feel happy about it,” said Putin. “I like that he said that,” said Trump, who refused to explain how he would end the conflict. “I would say certain things to Putin,” said the former president. “I would say certain things to Zelenskyy.”6 Under pressure from his right flank, Speaker of the House Kevin McCarthy announced that he would open an impeachment inquiry into President Joe Biden, claiming to have proof that unnamed members of Biden’s family had received bribes from third parties, and Trump, who had encouraged lawmakers to impeach Biden, suggested that the inquiry was a consequence of his own two impeachments.7 8 9 Members of the ultra-conservative Freedom Caucus refused to allow a routine procedural vote on the annual military spending bill, and McCarthy temporarily abandoned efforts to bring it to the House floor, pushing the government closer to a shutdown.10 11 “Can’t govern, don’t want to govern,” said Representative Rosa DeLauro of Connecticut.12 Colorado representative Lauren Boebert was ejected from a performance of the musical Beetlejuice after vaping, using her phone to record the show, and stroking her companion’s crotch.13

Austria’s pro-Russia former foreign minister was reported to be moving to St. Petersburg, along with her two ponies.14 China’s defense minister, who has not been seen in public in two weeks, is reportedly under investigation.15 A letter found in Vatican archives confirmed that the Church was told about the Holocaust in 1942.16 Nearly a dozen libraries in Chicago closed because of bomb threats, and scientists found that 1-year-olds exposed to more than four hours of screen time per day experienced developmental delays.17 18 It was reported that the child poverty rate had more than doubled following the expiration of pandemic-era benefits, and it was estimated that one out of every seven dollars set aside for pandemic unemployment relief was stolen.19 20 In Ohio, pennies were found in Chicken McNuggets, and New York City’s Department of Correction threw out $40,000 worth of instant mashed potatoes that had been contaminated with bugs.21 22 In Texas, a black high school student was suspended over the length of his locs, and two principals in Delaware were accused of making and sharing a meme depicting a student’s exposed breast.23 24 Webcam videos of a Democratic candidate for the Virginia House of Delegates performing sex acts were shared with the media by a Republican operative, and Republican presidential candidate Vivek Ramaswamy referred to the H-1B visa system, which the company he founded has used 29 times to hire foreign employees, as “a form of indentured servitude.”25 26

Nearly 600,000 gallons of “good quality” wine flooded the streets of a Portuguese village when two storage tanks burst, and Chinese authorities asked residents of Maoming to stay inside after more than 70 crocodiles escaped a lake following a flood.27 28 29 A Florida woman was charged for allegedly leaving her son in a running car while she went swimming, saying that she wanted to “meet sharks,” and a tourist lost an arm after reportedly mistaking a shark for a tuna in Egypt.30 31 In San Francisco, landlords fought protesters at a cocktail party celebrating the end of the city’s eviction moratorium.32 The sports betting company DraftKings apologized for offering a 9/11-themed parlay which required three New York teams to win, and Microsoft, which in 2020 fired the team of journalists responsible for vetting the content on its platform, published a seemingly AI-generated obituary of a former NBA player who died in Florida.33 “Brandon Hunter useless at 42,” the headline read.34 Bodycam footage showed Seattle police joking about a pedestrian who was killed after being hit by a patrol car. “Just write a check,” said one officer. “She was 26 anyway, she had limited value.”35 A coroner was accused of leaving the body of a Kentucky man in a car overnight on an unseasonably hot day, causing funeral attendees to vomit at the smell when they buried him.36 Officials in Texas said they were unsure of how the message displayed by an electronic construction sign had been altered.37 DUE TO WEATHER, the sign read, GO FUCK YOUR SELF.38 —Jon Edelman

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