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[Weekly Review]

Weekly Review

Scientists studied the ways in which sperm defy Newton’s laws of motion.

Following a near-total telecommunications blackout that prevented residents from reaching emergency services personnel and international aid organizations from reaching their staff, Israeli armored forces, combat engineers, and infantry entered Gaza in an action that Israeli leaders refused to describe as a ground invasion.1 2 3 4 5 Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu, who said “we are the children of light and they are the sons of darkness” in a televised address and whose government was caught sending suitcases of cash to Hamas in 2018, warned his countrymen of a “difficult and long” campaign in what he called “our second war of independence,” and apologized for a tweet in which he appeared to blame intelligence services for not warning him of Hamas’s attack on October 7.6 7 8 9 Hamas confirmed that it was fighting Israeli forces in Gaza and promised to make Israel “taste new ways of death.”10 The United Nations overwhelmingly approved a resolution calling for a ceasefire, with the United States voting against it, and, after only 117 total aid trucks had been allowed into Gaza since the start of the crisis, far short of the 100 per day needed, thousands of Gazans broke into U.N. warehouses and took personal hygiene supplies and wheat flour.11 12 13 14 It was reported that Hamas has stockpiled hundreds of thousands of gallons of gasoline and diesel for vehicles and rockets, and fuel shortages in Gaza continued, imperiling the operation of generators, bakeries, and water desalination facilities, and placing at least 130 preterm babies hooked up to incubators at risk of imminent death.15 16 17 U.S. President Joe Biden said that Israeli settlers should not “[pour] gasoline on fire” by attacking Palestinians in the West Bank, and it was reported that a Hamas fighter who participated in the October 7 attack used the cell phone of one of his victims to brag to his parents afterward.18 19 “Mom, your son is a hero!” he said. “Kill, kill, kill!”

Hours after the U.S. Senate adopted an amendment making it easier for veterans with mental disabilities to get guns, an army reservist who had reported hearing voices in his head killed 18 people and wounded 13 in shootings at the Just-In-Time Recreation Bowling Alley and Schemengees Bar and Grille in southern Maine.20 21 22 The shootings, the victims of which included a youth bowling coach and participants in a cornhole tournament for deaf athletes, were the deadliest mass killing of 2023.23 24 Louisiana Republican Mike Johnson, newly installed as Speaker of the House after the body went 22 days without a leader, and who had previously blamed shootings on abortion and the teaching of evolution, offered prayers.25 26 27 Five people were found shot to death in a home in North Carolina, three people were shot near the Peace Bridge in Buffalo, and a woman was shot across the street from an anti–gun violence mural that was being restored in Pittsburgh.28 29 30 “Is it having an impact?” asked the artist. In Georgia, a lawmaker proposed paying teachers a $10,000 stipend to carry firearms, and in Mexico, a trash collector was killed by a loaded gun that had been thrown in the garbage.31 32 In Salt Lake City, a man was accused of attacking a skateboarder with a machete because he thought the victim was a fish, and an off-duty pilot who tried to disable the engines of a plane mid-flight was reported to have taken psychedelic mushrooms before boarding.33 34  Sweden launched a campaign to help tourists distinguish it from Switzerland.35 A small city in New Zealand was reported to be plagued by siren battles, in which cars covered in loudspeakers compete to have the best sound system, often by playing portions of Céline Dion songs.36 “[I]t is far from great,” said an inmate known as the Zombie Hunter of conditions on death row.37

Congressman Jamaal Bowman of New York agreed to pay a fine for pulling a fire alarm in a House building as Democrats stalled for time to read a stopgap spending bill, and, in Washington, D.C., a firefighter who stopped during an emergency call to pick up Chick-fil-A was reported dismissed.38 39 It was revealed that Mississippi law enforcement allowed a mother to believe that her child was missing for seven months after he had been hit and killed by a police car.40 An analysis showed that Americans are having more abortions than before the Dobbs decision, and the county of Lubbock, Texas, banned women from using its roads to travel for the procedure.41 42 Scientists studied the ways in which sperm defy Newton’s laws of motion, and a survey revealed that Gen Z Americans are more interested in seeing platonic relationships onscreen than in sex and romance.43 44 A Swansea charity shop asked customers to “refrain from donating your used and unused marital aids,” a Polish priest resigned after bishops in his diocese held a gay orgy that left an escort unconscious from an overdose of erectile dysfunction medicine, and a man in western Washington State was reported to have tried to solicit a sex worker for a threesome with himself and his miniature horse.45 46 47 The chairmen of JPMorgan Chase and BlackRock said that the current economy reminds them of the 1970s, and it was reported that up to 10 percent of all internet data is encrypted using lava lamps.48 49 NASA struggled to open a container that had returned from space with samples of an asteroid.50 An English brand offered coffin-aged wine, a game studio announced that it would give away a PC infused with human blood, and on the basis of factors including average annual percentage of sunshine, number of Christian churches, and overall lair safety, New York was named the number one city in the United States for vampires.51 52 53 54 Jon Edelman

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