From reasons submitted to Her Majesty’s Revenue and Customs, the United Kingdom’s tax-collection agency, for missing or tardy returns.

My tax return was on my yacht, which caught fire.

My papers were in the shed and the rat ate them.

A wasp in my car caused me to have an accident.

My husband ran over my laptop.

My husband left me and took our accountant with him.

I relied on my sister to complete my returns but we have now fallen out.

My niece made the house so untidy I could not find my log-in details.

A colleague borrowed my tax return and lost it.

My child scribbled over the tax return.

My wife had a headache for ten days.

The postman doesn’t deliver to my house.

My internet connection failed.

I had a cold.