I Might Just Listen, It Won’t Be Good, and How Did I Miss That?, miniature sculptures by Lydia Ricci, whose work is on view at the Berman Museum of Art, in Collegeville, Pennsylvania © The artist. Courtesy Paradigm Gallery + Studio, Philadelphia
The sound of a passing dust devil was recorded on Mars, where a four-hour marsquake revealed that shear waves move faster in the planet’s southern highlands. Orbital decay is sending Kepler-1658b spiraling into its star. The long-term carbon uptake capacity of the oceans may be reduced by warming, which may entirely shut down the Southern Meridional Overturning Circulation by the year 2300; star-aligned ceremonial sites dating to as early as 1100 bc were found along the Mexican Gulf Coast; and the Indian Ocean Dipole may soon resemble its state 17,000 years ago, when it led to the total desiccation of Lake Victoria. Severe droughts in the Danube frontier may have encouraged the Huns to attack Rome. Archaeo-metallurgists studying Uluburun ingots identified the Mediterranean’s Bronze Age tin supply chain. The metarule allowing Panini’s word-generating grammatical rules to operate was rediscovered and named 1.4.2 vipratiṣedhe paraṁ karyām. The birth of Christ corresponded to a peak in European bog mummies.
Researchers suggested using dead whales as a carbon sink. Jewel damselfish living near rat-infested islands of the Chagos Archipelago maintain much larger algal territories and defend them less aggressively than those living near rat-free islands, since the rats have depleted the seabirds whose feces fertilize reef flora. The fecal chimneys created by wood-eating clams discourage other clans of wood-eating clams from occupying the same habitat. Biologists found that death adders possess clitorises, then went on to locate them in eight other species of snakes. “That was fantastic,” said the lead researcher. The abundance of microRNAs in octopuses suggests that the dark genome is crucial to the development of complex intelligence. The elderly Octodon degus may be suited to the study of Alzheimer’s disease, as the rodent develops cognitive and neurological impairments, macular degeneration, type 2 diabetes, and atherosclerosis. Genetically modified hens will now produce only female chicks, obviating the yearly global culling of billions of male chicks. Mexican jumping beans will jump randomly until they escape the sun or die. “If I’m a bean and I exist outside of the shade,” said one of the physicists who induced the beans to jump, “all I want to know is what’s the eventual probability of finding shade?” A virus-only diet is sufficiently nutritious for some life-forms.
During solitary masturbation the Subjective Orgasm Experience is invariant across studied groups, but during partnered sex heterosexuals report higher numbers than homosexuals on the Orgasm Rating Scale. Japanese researchers refined the Hikikomori Questionnaire, and found that a lack of sexual interest predicts mortality in men over forty. Fragile heterosexuality, previously observed in the United States and the United Kingdom, was found in Italy and Germany. Sons of the rich and daughters of the poor get better educations. Women and Democrats are likelier to report posts. People who believe themselves to be good-looking are less likely to wear masks. Chimpanzees are better at perceiving faces in facelike fruits when the bottom half of the fruit is covered. Canadian prisoners with high psychopathy scores were found to have an annual economic cost of more than $100,000. Air travelers may be exposed to dark lightning.
