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March 2023

[Report]

At Random

The business of books and the merger that wasn’t

by ,
[Letter from Washington]

Alternative Facts

How the media failed Julian Assange

by ,
[Memoir]

Frog

What happens to the pets that happen to you

by ,

Harper’s Magazine welcomes reader response.

Email us about articles in the magazine.

[Harper’s Index]

Percentage of U.S. workers willing to take a pay cut in exchange for the option to work from home : 45

March 2023
[Harper’s Index]

Portion of college seniors who hope to find a job that is hybrid or fully remote : 3/4

March 2023
[Harper’s Index]

Estimated percentage by which allowing for hybrid work decreases worker attrition : 35

March 2023
[Harper’s Index]

Percentage of supervisors who say they sometimes forget about remote workers when assigning tasks : 32

March 2023
[Harper’s Index]

Portion of U.S. workers who say their career ambitions have waned over the past three years : 1/3

March 2023
[Harper’s Index]

Estimated percentage by which a man’s being extremely competitive increases his future income : 0

March 2023
[Harper’s Index]

By which a man’s wife being extremely competitive increases his future income : 10

March 2023
[Harper’s Index]

Percentage of college seniors who are prioritizing job stability : 74

March 2023
[Harper’s Index]

Who are prioritizing working for a recognizable brand : 41

March 2023
[Harper’s Index]

Who say that because of economic anxiety they are open to industries they hadn’t previously considered : 35

March 2023
[Harper’s Index]

Percentage of high school students who were too sad or hopeless in 2021 to participate in regular activities : 45

March 2023
[Harper’s Index]

Portion of high school students who attempted suicide : 1/10

March 2023
[Harper’s Index]

Who seriously considered it : 1/5

March 2023
[Harper’s Index]

Percentage of U.S. colleges that no longer require standardized test scores : 82

March 2023
[Harper’s Index]

Percentage by which the median debt for borrowers earning master’s degrees has increased since 2000 : 69

March 2023
[Harper’s Index]

Chances that a millennial who moved in with their parents last year was charged rent : 2 in 5

March 2023
[Harper’s Index]

Portion of Americans who consider themselves “middle class” : 1/2

March 2023
[Harper’s Index]

Of Britons who consider themselves “working class” : 3/5

March 2023
[Harper’s Index]

Percentage of U.S. adults in households earning $100,000 or more who drink alcohol : 80

March 2023
[Harper’s Index]

In households earning less than $40,000 : 49

March 2023
[Harper’s Index]

Percentage increase since 2013 in average household spending on pets : 67

March 2023
[Harper’s Index]

Percentage change last year in sales of digital albums : –20

March 2023
[Harper’s Index]

Percentage change last year in sales of romance novels : +52

March 2023
[Harper’s Index]

Portion of those novels written by one author : 1/3

March 2023
[Harper’s Index]

Portion of single Americans who say that someone has wanted to date them for their household amenities : 1/5

March 2023
[Harper’s Index]

Percentage of Americans who are unaware of how much they spend on subscription services each month : 100

March 2023
[Harper’s Index]

Factor by which the average American underestimates the total : 4

March 2023
[Harper’s Index]

Minimum portion of Disney+ subscribers who are adults without children : 1/2

March 2023
[Harper’s Index]

Percentage of toy sales that can be attributed to adults buying toys for themselves : 14

March 2023
[Harper’s Index]

Amount by which the number of U.S. births was expected to change in 2021 because of the pandemic : –300,000

March 2023
[Harper’s Index]

By which it actually changed : +32,777

March 2023
[Harper’s Index]

Factor by which the 2020 U.S. Census expanded the population threshold for areas defined as urban : 2

March 2023
[Harper’s Index]

Number of people whose homes were reclassified by the 2020 Census as rural rather than urban : 4,200,000

March 2023
[Harper’s Index]

Amount a circus paid last year to purchase a town in California : $2,500,000

March 2023
[Harper’s Index]

Number of cryptocurrency ATMs, per square mile, in Los Angeles : 4

March 2023
[Harper’s Index]

In Atlanta : 7

March 2023
[Harper’s Index]

Factor by which Google searches for cryptocurrency last year exceeded those for artificial intelligence : 3

March 2023
[Harper’s Index]

By which searches for artificial intelligence this year have exceeded those for cryptocurrency : 3

March 2023
[Harper’s Index]

Cost of a baby stroller powered by artificial intelligence : $3,800

March 2023

Readings

[Essay]

Writing Wrongs
by ,
[Sponsored Content]

Shill to Power
[Conversation]

See No Evil
[Trends]

Talk of the Town
[Analysis]

Mirror, Mirror
by ,
[Memo]

Soup, Salad, and Pink Slips
[Oral Histories]

First Time for Everything
[Fiction]

At Eloise’s Night Light Lounge
by ,
[Investigation]

Worst Responders
[Poem]

What Songs Do
by ,Translated by , ,
Les Règles De L’art, a drawing by Lucile Gauvain, whose work is on view this month at HOFA Gallery (House of Fine Art), in London.
© The artist. Courtesy Hofa Gallery (House of Fine Art)
“185 West Main Street, Webster, NY,” a photograph by Eric T. Kunsman, from his series Felicific Calculus: Technology as a Social Marker of Race, Class, & Economics in Rochester, NY. Kunsman’s work is on view this month at the Rhode Island Center for Photographic Arts, in Providence.
© The artist
“RJC Sudsville Laundry,” a photograph by Eric T. Kunsman, from his series Felicific Calculus: Technology as a Social Marker of Race, Class, & Economics in Rochester, NY. Kunsman’s work is on view this month at the Rhode Island Center for Photographic Arts, in Providence.
© The artist
“AB Convenient Market,” a photograph by Eric T. Kunsman, from his series Felicific Calculus: Technology as a Social Marker of Race, Class, & Economics in Rochester, NY. Kunsman’s work is on view this month at the Rhode Island Center for Photographic Arts, in Providence.
© The artist
“Hamlin Beach State Park,” a photograph by Eric T. Kunsman, from his series Felicific Calculus: Technology as a Social Marker of Race, Class, & Economics in Rochester, NY. Kunsman’s work is on view this month at the Rhode Island Center for Photographic Arts, in Providence.
© The artist
Conceptual Artist #7 (A Warhol enthusiast, his 26th studio mate completes the story), a mixed-media diptych by Hernan Bas, whose book The Conceptualists was published last year by Victoria Miro. Bas’s work will be on view in May at Lehmann Maupin, in New York City.
© and courtesy the artist. Courtesy Victoria Miro, London
The Photographer, 2000, a mixed-media artwork by Kimowan Metchewais, whose monograph A Kind of Prayer was published in January by Aperture. Metchewais’s work is on view this month as part of the exhibition Native America: In Translation at the Milwaukee Art Museum.
Courtesy Laena Wilder
[Letters]

Letters
[Easy Chair]

The Social Body
by ,
[Harper’s Index]

Harper’s Index
[Report]

At Random

The business of books and the merger that wasn’t

by ,
[From the Archive]

The Reading Public
by ,
[Letter from Washington]

Alternative Facts

How the media failed Julian Assange

by ,
[Memoir]

Frog

What happens to the pets that happen to you

by ,
[Annotation]

Knights-Errant

Online chess reshapes the game of kings

by ,
[Revision]

A Climate of Fear

The free speech skeptics abandon Salman Rushdie

by ,
[Poetry]

Consider the Wound
by ,
[Story]

Triptych
by ,
[Reviews]

New Books
by ,
[Reviews]

History’s Fool

The long century of Ernst Jünger

by ,
[Puzzle]

True Words

See the solution to last month’s puzzle.

by ,
[Findings]

Findings
by ,
[Findings]

Chemists grew gold in total darkness.

[Findings]

Five zebra fish per liter of tank water can be collectively euthanized by electric shock.

[Findings]

Rats can distinguish between Riesling and sauvignon blanc.

[Findings]

A literature review enumerated cases of envenomation by dead snakes, including those of a Chinese chef killed by the severed head of a spitting cobra, a child in Minnesota injured by a freeze-dried prairie-rattlesnake head worn as a tie tack, and two drunk Indians hospitalized after they chewed on the head of a dead krait.

[Findings]

Americans with open personalities are less likely to express end-of-life regret about how much they spent on food, whereas agreeable people are disposed to regret spending money on food, clothing, leisure, and financial help to others.

[Findings]

Polish doctors urged further investigation into compulsive frotteurs.

[Findings]

Scottish hen parties were deemed to contain ritualistic profanation.

[Findings]

The mummy of the Mysterious Lady was not pregnant.

[Findings]

A skull previously thought to belong to Cleopatra’s sister was found to be that of an Italian boy with a deformed jaw.

[Findings]

Fifty-two experts were consulted to produce a six-criteria test for predicting vasectomy regret.

[Findings]

French archaeologists discovered a Gaulish curse tablet tucked between a skeleton’s legs.

[Findings]

A Viking grave in Norway appeared to contain a vulva stone.

[Findings]

Chinese scientists successfully raised to adulthood, then dissected, mice born of two fathers.

[Findings]

Rabbits are capable of digesting their teeth as they wear down and reusing the calcium to grow new ones.

[Findings]

It is possible that songbirds who migrate at night socialize with one another in flight and speak to other species.

[Findings]

A survey of 1,328 urinary events found that, unlike contagious yawning, the contagious urination of chimpanzees appears to be correlated to social rank rather than social closeness.

[Findings]

Coyotes in dense areas of Chicago die younger if the average human income is high.

[Findings]

Physicists detected negative time.

[Findings]

Excessive tearfulness in the right eye of a fifty-five-year-old Japanese woman was traced to a supernumerary punctum.

[Findings]

Six dead dolphins who washed up in Texas were found to have fentanyl in their blubber.

[Findings]

Archaeologists speculated that, in the largest known Bronze Age massacre in Britain, attackers killed, butchered, and ate men, women, and children as a political statement.

[Findings]

Scientists urged the abandonment of attempts to create mirror life, against which existing life-forms may possess no defenses.

[Findings]

Monkeys are faster at spotting a snake among salamanders than a salamander among snakes.

[Findings]

Medication may treat those who suffer from disorders that make them smooth-brained.

[Findings]

Brain scans corroborated the unpleasant psychoacoustic effects of Aztec death whistles.

[Findings]

Assamese tribesmen were found to identify with elephants through a sense of mutual loss, poverty, and uncertainty.

[Findings]

Scientists suggested that human culture is superior to that of other animals because it can integrate limitless sequences of subgoals.

[Findings]

In Europe, conservatives are outbreeding progressives.

[Findings]

Researchers noted the positive effects of ecstatic epilepsy and synthesized fifty-three theoretical models of delusion.

[Findings]

Witnessing cringeworthy moments improves the observer’s self-perception.

[Findings]

In Japan, erectile function among young men was determined to be low by the first nationwide survey employing the internationally validated Erection Hardness Score.

[Findings]

Pentoxifylline can mitigate the damage caused by subjecting stallions to scrotal heat stress.

[Findings]

Bay Area researchers debuted a Narcissism Interview Scale for Employment.

[Findings]

More than half of U.S. civilians tasked with evaluating a bombing target endorsed killing unidentified bystanders.

[Findings]

Solitary chicks emit fewer anxious peeps if given a mirror for company.

[Findings]

Marine biologists described the Red Sea’s grumpy dwarfgoby.

[Findings]

Bottlenose dolphins, who were found to inhale and exhale microplastics, respond to a smile with a smile one third of the time.

[Findings]

Archaeologists identified the skeleton recovered from the Sverresborg Castle’s well in 1938 as the man described in the Sverris Saga as having been thrown into the well in 1197.

[Findings]

A primatologist, a mammalogist, and a linguist concluded that the jerky, rhythmic dance of sexually mature female black crested gibbons is innate rather than culturally transmitted.

[Findings]

Parmesan researchers found that “benevolently sexist” adults are less likely to own “clit-oriented” sex toys.

[Findings]

Germans under thirty experience more climate distress and have more rough sex.

[Findings]

Mars gained and then lost a second moon in the autumn.

[Findings]

Scientists determined why some aging gray horses turn white faster than others.

[Findings]

The stranger churches of sixteenth-century London extensively spied on their congregants, noting when women accused other women of being “pocked whores.”

[Findings]

Evidence supporting the hypothesis that the Proto­-Indo­-European language was spread by humans on horseback may have overlooked how humans who ride cows, donkeys, and wild asses exhibit the same hip­ -socket deformations, as previously observed in twentieth­-century nuns.

[Findings]

Scientists allowed a king oyster mushroom mycelial culture to control the movements of a soft five-limbed robot and a four-wheel vehicle.

[Findings]

Juvenile Japanese eels can escape from the stomachs of dark sleepers by pushing their tails back through the fish’s esophagus and out its gills.

[Findings]

EEG experts disagreed on whether, in the future, brain waves could be used to read dreams and long-­term memories.

[Findings]

Turkish doctors reported a case of penile autoamputation with religious delusion.

[Findings]

AI researchers determined that large language models pose no existential threat to humanity and created an AI algorithm that can detect scientific articles written by other AI algorithms.

[Findings]

Mammoths may have been killed with planted pikes rather than with thrown spears.

[Findings]

The birth of a white buffalo fulfilled a Lakota prophecy portending better times.

[Findings]

Wildfires near Canadian mines were found to have released unprecedented levels of arsenic, and wildfires in Maui were making residents unhappy.

[Findings]

Living near oil and gas development sites depresses people who are trying to get pregnant.

[Findings]

The Journal of Pediatric Genetics retracted a study on Islamic beliefs concerning the possible supernatural causes of birth defects on the grounds that the research lacked a scientific basis.

[Findings]

A researcher noticed that a Tartessian slate tablet depicting battle scenes also contains a previously unknown alphabet.

[Findings]

The royal swan marker reported that the depression of the Thames population, previously noted during the late queen’s reign, continues under the king.

[Findings]

Researchers claimed that researchers have been underreporting same-­sex sexual activity among animals.

[Findings]

Cocaine trafficking was found to threaten the golden­-cheeked warbler.

[Findings]

A survey of 7 million parliamentary speeches across eight countries and several decades found that politicians use less complex language as it gets hotter.

[Findings]

The diet of Japanese youth is growing more confectionary, and Americans are poisoning themselves more severely.

[Findings]

Unaffiliated voters are growing more spiteful toward both Democrats and Republicans.

[Findings]

Researchers debuted an 88 percent accurate hate­-speech detector and a superior sarcasm detector and may be able to send messages back in time.

[Findings]

Increased border­-wall height was tentatively linked to a thirtyfold increase in the rate of migrant drowning deaths off San Diego.

[Findings]

Women bond more closely with therapy bulls than men do.

[Findings]

The perceived onset of old age increases by approximately one year for every four to five years a person ages.

[Findings]

A study of brain­-injured but not brain­-dead patients found that many would have survived had their families not chosen to withdraw life support.

[Findings]

Sets of both fraternal and identical twins exhibit internally similar metacognitive abilities, suggesting that metacognition is environmental rather than heritable.

[Findings]

Southern California beach erosion is expected to increase by 50 percent by 2050.

[Findings]

Archaeologists translated cuneiform tablets recording shareholder agreements for the first company in Anatolia.

[Findings]

The melting of the poles is making Earth’s days longer.

[Findings]

The hatching season of a male spear squid (Heterololigo bleekeri) determines whether he will pursue bold or sneaky mating tactics.

[Findings]

A bionic eye deciphered a scroll carbonized by the eruption of Mount Vesuvius that reveals the burial place of Plato, who was found to have complained about the musical abilities of the enslaved Thracian girl who played the flute for him as he lay dying.

[Findings]

Humans are losing their ability to digest cellulose.

[Findings]

Toxicity has remained a consistent feature of online interactions since 1989.

[Findings]

Microplastics were found in sixty-two of sixty-two human placentas from a biobank in Texas.

[Findings]

A metal scar on the surface of the white dwarf WD 0816-310 indicated that it has cannibalized other bodies in its orbit.

[Findings]

An orca acting alone killed a great white shark and ate its liver.

[Findings]

Genomic analysis indicated that psychedelic mushrooms emerged around the time of the Mesozoic–Cenozoic mass extinction.

[Findings]

The playing speed of a metal guitarist directly correlates with his intrasexual competitiveness but not his mating success.

[Findings]

Depression in humans is correlated with higher body temperature, and cold-water swimming mitigates menopause symptoms.

[Findings]

Researchers warned that, as temperatures rise, humans should prepare for more diarrhea.

[Findings]

A mother is 4.6 percent more likely to give birth in the same month she was born, and adjacent siblings are 12.1 percent more likely to be born in the same month as one another.

[Findings]

Electric eel discharge transforms the DNA of zebrafish larvae.

[Findings]

An AI that was fed the employment and health data of six million Danes turned out to be more accurate than existing sociological methods at predicting if a given person was about to die.

[Findings]

Onshore wind turbines severely deter German bats from foraging.

[Findings]

Astrophysicists argued that the development of advanced alien technology requires an atmosphere composed of at least 18 percent oxygen.

[Findings]

Off the Five Finger Islands, a team of cetologists aboard the Glacier Seal conducted an extended conversation with a female humpback named Twain.

[Findings]

True crabs independently evolved to live out of the ocean up to seventeen times.

[Findings]

The average American girl born in 2019 will take prescription drugs for more than half her life.

[Findings]

The U.S. municipal bond market penalizes communities in proportion to the percentage of their population that is black but generally ignores their vulnerability to climate change.

[Findings]

Somalis, surveyed as proxies for earlier inhabitants of the Cradle of Humankind, were found to fear spiders less than scorpions but snakes to the expected degree.

[Findings]

The collapse of the Qing Dynasty was driven by the quadrupling of its population and consequent rural impoverishment, an overabundance of qualified applicants for elite academic degrees, rising costs and trade deficits, and falling productivity, which were variously associated with internal unrest, opium imports, and the depletion of silver reserves.

[Findings]

Geoscientists were confident that, given access to the oldest barnacles on the flaperon of Malaysia Airlines Flight 370, they could help pinpoint its crash site.

[Findings]

Scientists were not certain whether the globally synchronized waves observed in the brains of wakeful rats on ketamine or LSD were a cause or a symptom of hallucinations.

[Findings]

Neuropsychologists developed a shorter IQ test for children with shorter attention spans.

[Findings]

The depression-prone are less attracted to the political right.

[Findings]

The nocturnal heart rate of young men can be predicted by their female partners’ daytime feelings of intimacy or annoyance.

[Findings]

Men who pose for photos with cats are seen as less datable.

[Findings]

Men can rate the facial attractiveness of women without paying attention, but women cannot do the same for men; gay men find the faces of purportedly fertile women and men more attractive; adolescents and adults both rate the faces of children younger than 4.6 years old as more appealing than those of older children; and body odors associated with fear quicken the visual processing of others’ facial expressions of fear.

Illustration by Tyler Comrie Microfiche

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