From statements made by Senator John Kennedy, Republican of Louisiana, since 2017.

Sometimes I’ll jot a clever turn of phrase down.

Sometimes I’ll just remember it.

Never stand between a dog and a fire hydrant.

Urinate or get off the pot.

The price of gas is so high that it would be cheaper to buy cocaine and just run everywhere.

Trying to reason with someone like that is like trying to hand-feed a shark. Doesn’t mean you can’t do it, but you’ve got to do it very, very carefully.

I guess I’m just naïve, but I had no idea there were this many pigs in the world.

There are major-league pigs.

There are minor-league pigs.

There are amateur pigs.

There are first-time pigs.

There are experienced pigs.

We’ve got some hogs who have all four feet and their snout in the trough, and we’ve got to find out who they are.

I don’t know how the actors in Hollywood have time to make movies. They’re too busy molesting each other.

I want the record to reflect that I did not call Senator Sanders an ignorant slut.