Matthew Sherrill

Paul Ryan fails to repeal the Affordable Care Act, Donald Trump goes golfing for the thirteenth time as president of the United States, and rivers in India and New Zealand are granted full human rights

The White House puts Iran "on notice," Trump threatens to send U.S. troops into Mexico, and Punxsutawney Phil predicts six more weeks of winter

A numerical investigation of Donald Trump's appointees

White nationalists celebrate Trump's election, and Hillary Clinton's popular-vote margin of victory climbs to 1.7 million.

A train derails in New Jersey, Rodrigo Duterte likens himself to Adolf Hitler, and a blind hoarder in Brooklyn discovers she has been living with the decomposing corpse of her son for 20 years

U.S. swimmer Simone Manuel becomes the first black woman to win a gold medal in the 100-meter event, a congressman in the Philippines calls for Trump to be banned from the country, and the mayor of Cannes, France, bans the burkini

Philando Castile and Alton Sterling are killed by police officers, Donald Trump says Saddam Hussein was good at fighting terrorism, and a woman in Florida hits her boyfriend with her baby

A Syrian refugee camp is bombed, Londoners elect their first Muslim mayor, and China bans videos of women seductively eating bananas

The Islamic State kills 34 people in Brussels, Raul Castro tells the United States to leave Guantanamo Bay, and Seattle police search for a masturbating ninja

Justice Antonin Scalia dies, the prime minister of the United Arab Emirates publishes a poem called "Happy Nation," and a man in Florida tosses an alligator through a Wendy's drive-thru window

Winter Storm Jonas strikes the East Coast, al-Shabaab kills at least 20 people at a hotel and restaurant in Mogadishu, and Donald Rumsfeld designs a solitaire app

China said it was not afraid to start a war with the United States, police officers in Anderson, California, armed themselves with nunchucks, and a witch sued a warlock for harassment

A sandstorm sweeps across the Middle East, a Hungarian camerawoman kicks refugee children, and a subterranean Nazi Complex is discovered in Poland

A gunman kills two people at a movie theater in Louisiana, the world’s largest e-sport league announces that it will give players drug tests, and a “mystery pooper” strikes a Norwegian golf course