Sara Breselor

North Korea attacks the U.S. film industry, Pakistan reinstates the death penalty, and a Pennsylvania electrician stabs a Virgin Mary lawn ornament in the head

America's first Ebola diagnosis, a pro-ICBM clothing exchange, and Joe Biden on being number two.

Police crush protests in Ferguson, Missouri, an Iranian woman wins the Fields Medal, and jihadis appreciate the work of Robin Williams

Tensions rise over murders in Israel and Palestine, the VA schedules an appointment for a deceased veteran, and the Vatican legitimizes Catholic exorcists

A mass murder in Santa Barbara, nationalist and anti-E.U. parties are voted into the European Parliament, and 2Pac’s last words

Ukraine conducts military strikes in the east, Boko Haram threatens to sell captured Nigerian schoolgirls, and the many uses of beached whales

A plane vanishes over Southeast Asia, Russia and Ukraine stake out their positions on Crimea, and Canada expands its Moose Sex Project

Obama announces surveillance reforms, the Taliban bombs a Kabul restaurant, and Smartie snorting prompts nose-maggot panic

“Our nation has lost a colossus”

The NSA’s phone tap on Angela Merkel is exposed, European authorities investigate false reports of Roma kidnappings, and Kim Jong-un receives an honorary degree from HELP U

A(nother) mass shooting in the United States, a deal on Syria’s chemical weapons, and notes on Arkansan squirrel cuisine

Zimbabwe re-elects Robert Mugabe, a fatwa against croissants, and a lemonade-stand robbery at BB-gunpoint

Edward Snowden's travel itinerary, a Christian ministry's ex-ex-gay therapy, and the apocalypse gets a golf course.

A bombing at the Boston Marathon, a gun suicide at an NRA-sponsored event, and Anne Frank's beliebf

Obama hoofs it to Israel, Cyprus barely skates by, and a Canadian suggests an unusual stimulus project

Guns, the big game, and circular fast-food logic