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[Weekly Review]

Weekly Review

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In Pennsylvania, a man crashed his Mercedes into a church, and in California, a man broke into a church, smashed furniture and bottles of sacramental wine for two hours, and set the building on fire. An Anglican vicar who was arrested for punching a paramedic and spitting at a police officer claimed that he had diplomatic immunity from the Vatican, and a man in Pennsylvania gave a group of Amish boys cans of beer and then rammed their horse and buggy with his car. “Rumspringa!” said the man. Read more...

SharonRiley-WR-avatar2Storms killed at least 10 people in Germany and caused the river Seine in France to rise nearly 20 feet.[1] The Louvre announced that it would close in order to relocate 250,000 works of art, a man on horseback was swept away by floodwaters, and more than 80 people were injured by lightning strikes at a German rock concert. “Nature is more powerful than man,” said one Parisian.[2][3][4][5] Scientists proposed making a synthetic version of the human genome, and NASA and the European Space Agency announced that the universe was expanding as much as nine percent faster than previously believed.[6][7] All 66 books of the King James Bible were translated into emoji and released as “Scripture 4 Millennials” by the translator B-).[8] Fires broke out at churches in Birmingham, Alabama; Brooklyn, Illinois; and Detroit.[9][10][11] In Pennsylvania, a man crashed his Mercedes into a church, and in California, a man broke into a church, smashed furniture and bottles of sacramental wine for two hours, and set the building on fire.[12][13] An Anglican vicar who was arrested for punching a paramedic and spitting at a police officer claimed that he had diplomatic immunity from the Vatican, and a man in Pennsylvania gave a group of Amish boys cans of beer and then rammed their horse and buggy with his car. “Rumspringa!” said the man.[14][15]

A lawyer in Arizona was disbarred for trying to persuade a prospective client to pay him in nude photos.[16] Islamic State militants in Libya accidentally revealed their location by complaining over the radio about cars playing Bollywood music too loudly, and a Scottish teenager hacked into the administration page of a North Korean social-networking site by using the password “password.”[17][18] A Tasmanian devil that recently received a pacemaker was returned to the San Diego Zoo; 40 dead tiger cubs and a dead bear were found in a freezer at the Tiger Temple near Bangkok; and in Belgium, a giant panda was born in captivity for the first time in three years.[19][20][21] In Tbilisi, right-wing extremists wearing sausage links around their necks threw grilled meat and fish at customers in a vegan café, and a naked-bike-riding event in Bristol, England, was rerouted to avoid a neo-Nazi gathering.[22][23] Presumptive Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump told the audience at a campaign rally in California that he had a lot of support among black people. “Look,” said Trump, pointing to a man in the crowd, “at my African-American.”[24][25] In Romania, it was reported that Vasile Cepoi, the incumbent mayor of the town of Dr?gu?eni, would be challenged by candidates named Vasile Cepoi and Vasile Cepoi[26]

The city of Sugar Land, Texas, unveiled a statue of two girls taking a selfie.[27][28] A cyclist in Australia was jump-kicked by a kangaroo, breaking three of her ribs and rupturing one of her breast implants. A man in El Paso, Texas, challenged his daughter to a duel.[29] In Connecticut, a driver who attacked another driver with a chainsaw at a red light accidentally cut himself and sprayed blood on the other man’s car.[30] In Pennsylvania, a woman at a drive-through fell out of her car, which ran her over, and in Florida, a man who threw a three-and-a-half-foot alligator into a drive-through window was sentenced to one year’s probation.[31][32][33] A businessman in the United Arab Emirates paid nearly 5 million dollars for the license plate “1.”[34] A member of an advisory group to the king of Saudi Arabia issued a fatwa against theft of Wi-Fi; Ammon and Ryan Bundy, who led a 41-day armed takeover of Oregon’s Malheur National Wildlife Refuge in January, filed a complaint after they could not get Wi-Fi on their iPads in prison; and a man who has been jailed at New York’s Rikers Island for five months realized that his bail had been set at two dollars.[35][36][37] A statistician in England found that British couples have less sex than they did 20 years ago, in part because they bring their smartphones to bed, and David Levy, an artificial-intelligence expert, warned that sex robots would one day increase humans’ performance anxiety.[38][39][40]

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