This press release was issued in January by the Association to Save Madonna from Nuclear War (ASMNW), in Cincinnati.

The ASMNW is pleased to announce the establishment of the “Madonna Nuclear Free Zone,” consisting of the New York metropolitan area, most of New York State, portions of Michigan, and the Los Angeles metropolitan area. The zone is defined as beginning at a fifty-mile radius from anywhere Madonna lives or socializes more than twenty days in an average year.

The zone is being ruled perennially “Nuclear Attack Hands Off.”

Also, the embassies of those countries currently equipped to attack Madonna…