Save Madonna, by Harper’s Staff

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This press release was issued in January by the Association to Save Madonna from Nuclear War (ASMNW), in Cincinnati.

The ASMNW is pleased to announce the establishment of the “Madonna Nuclear Free Zone,” consisting of the New York metropolitan area, most of New York State, portions of Michigan, and the Los Angeles metropolitan area. The zone is defined as beginning at a fifty-mile radius from anywhere Madonna lives or socializes more than twenty days in an average year.

The zone is being ruled perennially “Nuclear Attack Hands Off.”

Also, the embassies of those countries currently equipped to attack Madonna are being contacted and asked to commence negotiations with the ASMNW. These countries include the Soviet Union, the United States, France, Great Britain, and Red China.

We would like to thank in advance the leaders of these great nations and their people for their future compliance with our demands.

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